With a half crazed Mississippi squirrel...

Okay...so this pic doesn't really warn you about the tragic story I am about to tell, but I thought you might like a nice image of a squirrel juggling before I regale you all with the events of last night. It all started out innocently enough. I drove over to Knows-It-All's house, as I do most Tuesdays, parked my car in her driveway, and proceeded to hopscotch the stepping stones up to her front door. (Don't ask me why I do this, but hey it's a tradition!!) On the way, I made a gruesome discovery.
What I am about to say is not for the faint of heart, so I warn you now to turn away if you are one of those people who always cries when Bambi's mother dies or really any animal for that matter. I just had to share this story...it has been tearing me up inside all day!
As you might have already guessed...I stumbled upon a dead squirrel...a dead baby squirrel...or so I thought. Not knowing what to do, I rang the doorbell and proceeded to tell my host that she had a dead baby squirell on her front walkway. She didn't take to this news happily - not that I really blame her - but as a cat owner, she has dealt with dead mice and rats more than she wishes to remember.
Anyway, armed with a scooper and a bag, she went out to dispose of the poor creature (who I nicknamed Oliver, even though I am not sure the gender...it just seemed fitting). I should probably add, me being the coward I am, I was standing about 10 feet behind her. Well, Knows-It-All went in for the scoop and much to our horror..Oliver began to move and make the most pitiful sound. I should add that Knows-It-All only moved slightly while I jumped a good couple feet and screamed like a girl. Luckily I am a girl so at least that wasn't too embarrassing.
So, now came the predicament. Although Oliver wasn't yet dead, he was not far from death's door. And to make matters worse it was after 5pm, which meant everything was closed. We figured that putting the poor creature out of its misery would be best, but niether of us have the stomach to handle that one.
Not knowing what to do, we decided to consult one of her neighbors, who agreed it would be best to put Oliver out of its misery, but added that we should have gone to one of the heterosexual neighbors, since he too lacked the stomach to kill the dying baby squirrel. In the end, we ended up finding a box and scooping Oliver in. He didn't even have the strength to even turn over, but he was still breathing and although he could have died just as easily in the garbage can...that seemed just a bit too awful. So...he lived out the rest of his day in a box in Knows-It-All's house. I hope comfortly, but I am not sure. All in all, it made for a tramatic and tragic event that seemed to overshadow the entire evening. I'm not the biggest squirrel fan, but it is hard not to be affected by the death of something so cute. Take my advice...look at the cute squirrel cartoon again and thing happy thoughts!!

I think of you when I'm in a blimp looking down from up above you!

So...the majority of you are probably tuning in to my blog today, assuming to hear me either rant or rave about the Emmy's award show, but do I have a surprise for you. I actually kept my boycott. (I will pause to let you process the fact that I didn't watch the Emmy's this year.) I decided that until the Emmy voters actually get their act together, watch some decent tellie, and change the voting system, I will not watch the ceremonyt! Actually as of right now, I still haven't seen a complete list of winners/losers. I read that Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert were quite funny and The Daily Show won again, but that is all I know. (Again I will pause and let that sink in.)
So instead of a tellie centric blog, I bring you the next installment of 'WTF Websites', this time brought to you by Cats That Look Like Hitler (Kitlers for those of you in the know!) A friend at work passed this website on to me. To be honest, although it is somewhat offensive, I laughed my head off...and that isn't just the sleep depervation talking...and therefore had to share!! Apparently, my post on yawning bunny's caused her to recall this website. Sometimes I really do worry about where the world is going. Perhaps Giles was right...the Earth is DOOMED!!!

All to hell we must sail...

Last week NikNak, the friend I reconnected with a couple of weeks ago, during a moment of boredom, decided to make a plea for comments. Usually, I ignore this kind of survey, but since it required a minimal effort from me, I responded and in exchange got this nifty little list. The first is the list of questions followed by NikNak's answers. Hey I'm just following statement 8...for it is written!

Questions:

1. Respond with something random about you.
2. Tell you what song/movie reminds me of you
3. Pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. Say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. Tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. Tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. Ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written !

Responses:

1. Flogging Molly freak!
2. Mystery Science Theatre 3000, because that should be us!
3. Pineapple
4. Sweaty Mustache!
5. Gosh, I guess playing in the band together
6. A bear?
7. What is your middle name?
8. Yeah, so do it.

Overall, I really can't complain, except I hate, HATE pineapple flavored jello. Oh well...

Searchin' our hearts for so long, both of us knowing...

It never ceases to amaze me...the amazing wonders found on the internet and how I sometimes just stumble onto things that end up both horrifying and amusing me at the same time. Most of you know of my unabashed love of Burt Bacharach songs as well as the BBC Horatio Hornblower films. Never in a million years would I have ever expected those two loves to combine into one completely awesome thing: a fanvid of the Horatio films featuring very mildHoratio/Archie slash set to the classic song "Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head".
Although the video wasn't the best, hence why it isn't featured in this blog, it did lead me to bigger and better things.
You may be wondering, what could be better than that? But never fear, I present you with a Horatio/Archie slash fanvid featuring "What Hurts the Most" by Rascal Flatts. Disney, country-pop, and the Napoleonic Wars merge into a euphoric mind-blowing experience.
And if that wasn't enough, one of the other Horatio/Archie fanvids features a medley of Pat Benatar songs...yes Pat "Love is a Battlefield" Benatar!! Oh, how I love the warped mind of others...makes me feel so much better about myself!! I mean, I don't spend hours making the vids, I only watch them!! That's better right??

The Vivian Girls Are Visited In the Night by Saint Dargarius and his Squadron of Benevolent Butterflies!

Ok...so that title really has nothing to do with this blog, I've just been listening to a ton of Sufjan Stevens and this is one of the more amusing track titles. I love how most of the names of his songs are long-drawn out affairs that either give quite a bit of insight into the meaning/point of the song or simply cause confusion. Oh how I love over-thinking things.
Anyway, I know that my loyal readers are probably wondering where I have been for the last couple of days. I wish I had a great abduction story - either aliens or some hot misundertood petty criminal - or something as equally thrilling, but the truth is, I simply had nothing to say. Which is quite amazing in and of itself if you think about it. When have I ever had nothing to say? This may very well be a sign of the apocalypse.
For the most part, I have been simply hanging out and reading articles for my thesis that seems to hit one road block after anther. The latest bump: 2 of my 3 thesis advisers are moving to Washington D.C. this month. This could make the defense process very interesting to say the least. Oh and I saw Little Miss Sunshine. I would thorough encourage everyone to go and see this film. It is beyond delightful!!

Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?

On Friday, ChickLit's first published e-book Full Swing hits the internet. I promised her I would pimp her book on my blog - even though most of my readers seem to come from her website - but after beginning this blog entry I realized I don't know much about the book. How sad is that?!?! My best friend publishes a book - with an ISBN and everything I might add - and I can't really share the details.
I do know that the story involves a woman golfer and her Army Ranger husband. Oh and you buy the book on Friday, July 18 over at Cobblestone Press. Besides that...nothing. Price? No clue. Formatt...I know she told me, but I forgot. I think that was the same day as my iPod died (did I tell you all my iPod had to be sent in for repairs and so I am once again technology's crack whore...without the crack!!)
If you do buy the book, look at the dedication. I am instructed not to read the book, so I guess that gives me an out. However, it does make me feel completely out of the loop...a loop I should have some details for!! Oh well...enjoy some raunchy fun for me!!

Welcome to my Californian home...

I got one of those great calls today. You know what I mean. A phone call from a friend you haven't talked to in quite a while, but still think about every once in a while. Personally, I love those calls. It'slike when you were a kid and from time to time your grandparents would show up for a surprise visit, which always meant 2 things: 1) You got to go out for dinner 2) They always brought some cool gift...even when it wasn't your birthday
So, getting back to today, a long lost friend called me. And this call got even better since it signals a visit. Since I have moved back home, the thing I miss most are my friends up north. So far, only one, Ms. Jane Bennet, has ventured down to my neck of the woods. (Actually, now that I think about it, Renfield crashed with me while he was doing some research for his thesis.) However, in a couple of weeks, another good friend might be joining those ranks. I can hardly wait!!!

Singin' drunken lullabies!

I think this year is going to be my best birthday ever. To be fair, I have never really done anything for my birthday (so I can't really compare) and the event that will make everything magical is actually the day before, but still...BEST. BIRTHDAY. EVER. To celebrate making it 25 years in this cruel and pitiless world, I will be going to see Flogging Molly in concert!!!
I'm so keyed up I can hardly wait. Plus as an added bonus my parents didn't even pull the "Is this really a responsible way to spend you money" talk. My mom seemd somewhat excited, which scares me but will not ruin the joy of witnessing Flogging Molly live. Nothing can, I tell you...nothing!!

In our little hideaway beneath the waves...

It appears that the fledgling CW network didn't get the Farm. (For those of you unfamilar with my theory, I have come to the conclusion that the WB had a farm somewhere in which they raised clean cut, good looking boys for use on all of their shows. Think about it...) Anyway, I had feared as much, but after watching the rejected pilot for Aquaman...I can't make any other conclusion. Sure they get to keep the boys already on (Clark, the boys from Supernatural, etc.) , but it doesn;t look like they are looking to expand. Too bad really...
I'm a bit late for this whole Aquaman debate. I bought the ep off iTunes a couple weeks ago, but I finally watched the pilot last night - and kinda enjoyed it. First of all, I must confess I needed a few drool towels. I'm not ashamed of the fact that the hotness of Tom Welling got me watching Smallville. However, after first glance, it is obvious the show itself is more than cute people. I think Aquaman had/has the same possibility. Besides...how can you resist Ving Rhames as the bald-black-badass mentor using nifty weapons and spouting Shakespeare!?!?!? Oh and I would be remitt to not mention Lou Diamond Phillips as the adopted dad. I mean...who could ask for anything more.
Before you write me off...I will fully admit it isn't the greatest pilot I have ever seen, but does the world really need another year of 7th Heaven. I mean really...and for those Everwood devotees...Everwood never seemed like a good WB fit. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed watching it from time to time, but it had more of a Hallmark or CBS feel to it. It can't compete with the weekly angst or superhero-worship - a staple of the WB since the days of Buffy and Dawson's - which isn't a bad thing...just noticable.

So...I will leave you all with a couple of more pics of the man that would have been a flippin' hot superhero!! Besides it is Friday and I know for a fact we could all use a little treat to get through the day!!

Every step you take...I'll be watching you!

Message boards are a fascinating communication tool. The possibility of debating with others - people who you never have to meet face to face - over the most inconsequential topics, is one of the most theraputic and and at the same time frustrating activities known to man. For a moment, the look on Spike's face when Buffy comes to his rescue or the specific cause for the downfall of Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series somehow become more important than poverty or the fight against AID. To be honest, I'm more of a stalker than a poster. I lurk and every once in a while, I will post, but those moments are few and far between. I bring this up only because my current addiction to YouTube has led to a renewed interest in prowling message boards. Often, video posters add a caption that gives the address of some website or message board they are affiliated with. Of course being the anal person I am, I must check it out. All in all, I think this is making me a healthier person and giving me something to fill up the hours of downtime I have at work. Besides, after seeing the craziness in others...my problems don't seem so bad!

Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes...

I think maybe Anya was onto something. For those of you who have not watched/obsessed over Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Anya was an ex-vengence demon, who on several different occasions shared her theory that bunnies are, in fact, evil creatures. (Perhaps those Bunnicula books need to be pulled off the shelf and dusted!!) I always just laughed it off until I stumbled across this Bunny Yawning Webpage smack full of images of bunny's yawning...something that creator of the site tries to calls "adorably funny". I ADAMANTALLY disagree, but don't let me beliefs sway you...view some of the images yourself. You'll soon see what I mean!!

I'm Still Just a Rat in a Cage!

I just might be watching The O.C. next season after all. I had all but given up hope since the show has consistently gone down hill since season one and the greatness of "Welcome to the O.C., Bitch!". However, today I read the most interesting tidbit concerning the upcoming storyline - especially that of Ryan. Since I don't want to ruin it for anyone, but also don't want to have to deal with death threats, I decided to try to put it in 'inviso-text'. You just have to highlight it with your mouse and you should be able to read the news. So...straight from "Watch with Kristin" over on E! Online I give you the most intriguing news of the day!!!


"Oh! Sorry, yes, Ryan from The O.C. (And by the way, Ryan's not the only major character on a TV show to be in a cage this season...think on that one!) Okay, are you ready? You sure? You sitting down? Here's what my mole just emailed me about The O.C. season premiere: (1) Julie Cooper develops substance abuse problem after losing Marisa, straining her and Dr. Robert's relationship. (2) Summer is at college, and becomes all Green Peacey. (3) Marisa's ex-boyfriend Luke is back on the show, and he has twin brothers who befriend Kaitlin Cooper. (4) And my favorite part, Ryan is so distraught by Marisa's death, he moves away and is cage fighting. He lets people kick the you-know-what out of him, because he doesn't give a damn anymore." To which I say: The O.C. might be the Best. Show. Ever."

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho!

Okay...I was originally blog more about musicals, but a friend of mine told me the best pirate joke last night and so I thought I should share. So here goes...
A pirate walks into a crowded bar. For some reason he has a ship's steering wheel shoved down the front of his pants. Everyone in the bar notices, but no one says anything since he's a pirate and so there is no telling what he would do. So the pirate walks up to the bar and asks for a beer. The bartender obliges and soon the pirate requests another. This goes on until the 5th beer when the bartender says "I'll give you the beer...but you have to tell me why you have a ship's wheel down your pants." To this inquiry, the pirate replies, "Arr...it be driving me nuts!!!" (Cue hysterical laughter!!)
Anyway, I couldn't stop laughing. I doubt it will ever rank higher than my stupid elephant/rhino joke, but I see it becoming part of my stupid joke arsenal!!

Come on along and listen to...the lullaby of Broadway!

I'm going into full musical mode...a phase that I go through a couple of times a year. For those of you who have never lived through one of these episodes...count yourself lucky. During this very special time, anyone riding in my car finds themselves forced to particpate in a listening comparison between the OBC (Original Broadway Cast) and film recordings or Rent or sitting in silence as I zone out with the beautiful harmonies in the reprise of "My Strongest Suit" in Aida and in Wicked's "Defying Gravity".
I find this time exciting and look forward to these periods, while others avoid me for a couple of weeks hoping to avoid the inevitible converstation about my current musical obsession or endless praise of Adam Pascal. Hey, don't tell me I never warned you...

Never, never to know how I loved you!

I love Hugh Jackman. To be honest, I don't know of anyone who doesn't. Not only is he easy on the eyes, but somehow Jackman can be a manly, hard-ass mutant while at the same time plausibly pulling off a singing and dancing man on Broadway. I can't express my happiness when I learned he was to star in Baz Luhrmann's new WWII Outback saga alongside Nicole Kidman. I'm not sure what Luhrmann is planning with this film since it seems counter to his previous work, but I for one will see it...most likely opening day.
Today, however, I read that Hugh is signed to star in a new film adaptation of Rodgers & Hammerstein's Carousel. I'm not sure why they are making this film, but hey...why not. Aparently, it will be filmed smack dab between the Wolverine filck and Baz's epic. Some days...things just go right.
Oh, before I go, I did want to make one last Miami Vice comment. I forgot to mention Colin Farrell's indistinguishable accent that fluctuates throughout the film. I'm not sure where he is supposed to be from, but it sure ain't America! Man, I'm laughing just thinking about it.

I said rock...whats a matter with you rock?

In an attempt to get out a bit more with people, on Sunday I called up a good friend of mine that I hadn't seen in a couple of years. She (I haven't thought of a nickname yet) is one of those great friends that you don't see in a years and yet within 5 minutes it seems like you have never been apart. I love friends like that. Anyway, we decided to go out to a movie and then have dinner at a new local brewery. For some unknown reason we chose to go and endure Miami Vice. The following is a review of the film. If you are planning on seeing the film, DO NOT READ THIS REVIEW!!! That is why the pic is not in it's normal position. This review contains spoilers and let's face it...a whole lot of criticism. Okay...you have been warned. I shall now proceed with the scathing evaluation.

"When in doubt…make 'em laugh." Honestly, that seems to be the mantra Michael Mann kept repeating to himself while writing and filming Miami Vice. If not...perhaps that is what he should tell people. I laughed so hard, I cried...and cried so hard had no mascara left when the credits began to roll. I'm talking some serious laughter! The movie wasn't just horrifyingly bad...it was beyond all description. But of course I will try!
I begin with the lack of chemistry between Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx. I mean not even a mole (aren't you proud I remember a term from high school chemistry) and in a buddy action flick...that is an essential. Apparently the two leads didn't get along and man does it show!!
In addition to that (or because of it), the film seemed to have an even-steven element to it highlighted by a sexual parody of Annie Get Your Gun's hit number "Anything you can do, I can do better". Foxx has a shower scene and then a sex scene...Farrell has a sex scene and then a shower scene. Farrell gets an extra sex scene and some really boring dancing sequences (don't ask me how you make multiple, as in more than one, salsa dancing scenes tedious, but it appears that Michael Mann found a way!). But don't despair, for Foxx's 'woman' gets to live through the entire flick – miraculously waking up from a coma no less - so he can be seen as the caring, loving guy we never really see in other parts of the film.
Now, I could have easily dealt with some of the superfluous sex scenes – see my review of Underworld: Evolution – if the plot was served in some way or the acting built toward something. Instead we have scene after scene of blank expressions. Blank stares on a super-fast boat, vacant expressions on a dock, in a plane, and during a shoot out.
Oh...and don’t get me started on the idiotic dialogue. Here's a sample (I'm not making this up folks):
Farrell/Foxx stare vacantly ahead.
Evil Columbian Druglord Lieutenant Guy: "She's my woman now. We watch movies together and go out to dinner."
Foxx turns vacantly to Farrell while Farrell stares ahead...now a bit peeved looking...like this could be of some consequence, but nothing too critical and given a bit of time should go away on its own.
Now, I could have forgiven more if the plot made sense and developed in a logical manner. By the end of the film, multiple strings are left hanging including the supposed FBI leak that started this whole disaster of an undercover mission in the first place. After 2 and a half hours, I deserved some closure even if it was as stupid and insipid as the last Matrix movie.
Oh and how could I forget the final showdown, a live action shoot clearly inspired by the Where's Waldo books. Instead of big crowds of people, we get to watch evil snipers - that may or not be part of some Aryan Brotherhood (hey I'm not even sure how they fit into the flick, but Tony Curran played one of the gang and so I could forgive that lack of plot explanation) - hiding under heat masking burlap sacks. (I'm assuming they were heat masking since it took the good guys forever and a day to find them! Then get this...the good guy snipers don't even use silencers so the bad guys know their snipers have been shot down and thus the big shoot out!
Halfway through the flick, my friend whispered that she hoped the credits would start rolling soon, therefore saving the rest of the flick for a sequel we simply wouldn't see. We weren't that lucky...we still had an hour and a half to go. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not.
Well, I could go on forever, but I really should wrap this up. Before I go, I should point out the good: I liked the music overall - especially the Nina Simone remix - and Colin Farrell pulled off the sweaty mustache look. Oh and I don't think the film has ruined Naomie Harris (honestly if Tristram Shandy: A Cock & Bull Story didn't, nothing will) or Li Gong for me. I simply will forget they were in the flick and move on with my life. As for the other actors, well, Tony Curran only had a couple minutes of screen time and I never really like Jamie Foxx or Colin Farrell in the first place. At least that is what I will tell myself until my horror subsides. Perhaps eventually I will be able to simply separate sober Colin Farrell from drunk, promiscuous, and licentious Colin Farrell. I mean, he does pick some interesting roles and I don't mind the accent. It would be a shame if this movie ruined all of that Irish potential in my cinema universe. Alas, only time will tell...