I watch them channel hop...

Well, with the season finale of Veronica Mars last night, my tellie schedule comes to a close once again. Each year, I think back about the overall quality of my programs and my predictions for next year. With an 8 day wait until the announcement of the CW network it is difficult for me to focus on the future. Who knows what that will bring? I could wish and dream, but we all know how that always turns out!
Although, there was an odd clue in the VM ep last night. At one point one character asks “CW?” The reply of "It's a done deal" answered the inquiry. So what does this mean…that is if it means anything at all? I am just being hopeful. I have had my issues with the second season of the show, but it is still one of the best on tv at the moment. If I am honest, on my watch list, only BSG beats it out at the moment with Prison Break following close behind.
Next year, however, looks grim even if VM gets renewed. The O.C. has run its course and I don’t see me watching another season. The same goes for Grey’s Anatomy…I just can’t stand Meredith anymore and I’m sick of George not standing up to everyone. I don’t even want to discuss the rest. It is all just bad…BAD!!!
One side note, in case you were wondering why the Bono pic of the post concerning current television program…it’s his b-day and you know I couldn’t let that pass without some commemoration.

Like every woman, she gets her own way!

I loathe the residual effects of bleach. Don’t get me wrong, I love its disinfecting power and all that, but the smell…oh the smell. I used bleach to clean one of the 42 cup coffee makers that will be used on Saturday. Keep in mind that was around 7pm last night and my hands still smell like bleach even though it has been more than 12 hours, I have taken both a bubble bath and a shower, and applied hand lotion. On top of the smell, the bleach dries out the hands to the point that my hands feel like they could crack open at any moment. If only scientists would discover the cures for all of the most deadly diseases so they could get onto solving these troubling bleach issues. One can only hope.
Before I sign off, I thought I would wish a “Happy Birthday” to FemeNazi. I thought I would pass on a bit of good advice I got in a fortune cookie recently since FemeNazi is always thinking about taking on the world: Never wear your best pants when you go to fight for freedom! (I can’t offer anything better than that!!)

I think I love you...

So…I often lurk on message boards, but seldom actually leave a comment let alone create a post. Anyway, recently I have decided to listen to Wheel of Time. Now this might seem simple enough, but as with most things in my life, turned out to be far more complicated and expensive.
I’ll explain more, but first a short parenthetical digression. You see…audiobooks are brilliant...simply bloody brilliant. They combine the best of childhood bedtimes – my mom or dad always read to me – with one of my current long-lasting obsessions. Anyway, I have started listening to Wheel of Time on CD. It should take me at least 297 hours (approx. 12.5 days). I figure I have at least a month’s worth of listening material.
So…after looking at the cost of the WOT audiobooks – even used they start at $40 – I decided to see if I could rent or borrow them from somewhere. Logically, I started with the library, but unfortunately, for the most part, Sac County libraries only own the abridged versions that cut down the 29 hours of the unabridged to 6.5 hours. That is if they carry the audiobook at all. Anyway, I decided to post a message on one of my fav WOT sites – wotmania (yeah I know a good portion of you lost a bit of respect for me and are not trying to stifle your laughter…) For the most part, the replies were of little use, but one did catch my fancy. Under the title of “well, I don’t have the audiobooks, BUT” Like the title, the message, was priceless:

"You can rent me for a small sum, and I'll ride shotgun during your commutes and read the books aloud to you.
I charge 300 a week. Very reasonable I say.
I'll even make noise effects during the story to make it more life like."

Although it seems like a tempting offer, it seems a bit too expensive. Thankfully a bunch of different companies have begun to copy Netflix – oh how I love Netflix – and so for a very reasonable monthly cost, I can get all of the audiobooks published. Ah, perhaps my grandmother was right about that whole “where there’s a will, there’s a way” stuff. All I know is that at the moment I am living it up in geekdom and I don’t care!!!

Looking out for #1!

For the most part, I am very much a creature of habit. Take my 2006 O.C.calendar. Bought during one of those 50% off sales after Christmas, I have yet to actually change the January pic. For 4 months now, at the beginning of the month, I simply trim the new image leaving behind a fab pic of Ryan Atwood (a.k.a. Ben McKenzie) alone – meaning without both Marissa and Seth (clearly the better significant other choice). I just don’t see why I would want to spend a month looking at Julie Cooper…or even worse Marissa. Ironically, although I wake up to Ryan’s brooding face every morning, I have not watched the last 3 eps at their regularly scheduled time. Although not as high on my shit list as Veronica Mars, I am seriously considering making this my last season…that is if ChickLit agrees.
So, what was I doing while The O.C. aired last night? The answer…rediscovering the magic of the Tim Burton classic: Ed Wood!!! I forgot what a brilliant film it is. If only more films were shot in B & W…
But before I forget and sign off…I hope everyone has a terrific Cinco de Mayo. Remember…drink a margarita on me and pay tribute to the battle the Mexicans won in a war they lost.

i can't take my eyes off of you...

For those of you wondering – if there actually is anyone wondering – why my blog has not been updated lately, the answer is two fold (hey at least it isn’t a 3 prong attack…those never work!!). First, I have found the utter joy of Netflix. Yes, I realize that this will not come as a shock to most of you, but I kinda get lost in films. And man…I can’t describe the orgasmic bliss found in updating my queue. Who ever thought up this whole thing should be given the Nobel Peace Prize. I’m sure Bono can get nominated again next year since unfortunately the problems of poverty and AIDS in Africa aren’t going to disappear in the foreseeable future.
Anyway…second, I have been compelled – I don’t know any other way to describe it – to read Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series once again. For those of you unfamiliar with the series, let me explain that this takes quite a bit of time. The first book is 800 pages long and is one of the shortest of the 11 book series. I lost count of how many times I have made it through the whole series a long time ago, but to be honest…I think that is for the best. The fact that I own 3 sets of the complete series disturbs me – and I am sure my closest friends - enough. Even though I know the series extremely well, I just feel the need to read it every once and a while. I am already trying to brace myself with the reality that I might never get a final volume, but hey…at least I have an imagination. And despite the success of the LOTR films, I don’t think WOT would translate well to the screen, which gives some consolation and also lets me hold onto a bit of childhood memories without commercialism. WOT is not just a fantasy series…it represents over a decade of devotion. How scary is that ?!?!?!

The marker snapped and I yelled "Quiet on the Set!"

While shopping for fajita filing in Trader Joes last night, I ended up having a fascinating conversation concerning the casting of my autobiographical film. You see, I was on the phone with ChickLit discussing my casting choices for the hypothetical tv movie I mentioned a couple of days ago. Anyway, some guy overheard my part of the dialogue and interjected that if the film featured this trip to Trader Joes – and how surreal would that be - he wanted to be played by either Hugh Grant or Colin Firth. I should interject at this point, that the boy (well man actually) was English and it took everything I had not to start drooling on spot…he had the accent and looked damn fine in jeans! And if that wasn’t enough, he had a Hugh Jackman-esque primal-yet-sophisticated quality - meaning he could kill if need be to protect the innocent or his ‘woman’, but also knows which fork to use at a formal dinner and is familiar with all aspects of theatre. Honestly, I’m not sure how I didn’t just throw myself at him…ah if it was only that simple.
But back to the main story…this incident got me thinking about the other casting decisions. And surprisingly, in the end, I couldn’t make any real decisions. Sure, I have idea, but in the end, I am not sure if my choice would over flatter someone or provoke them to never speak with me again. You see, I chose Melanie Lynskey to portray me because I think there is some resemblance and her quirkiness seems to fit well with mine. However, when it comes to others, I am not so secure in my choice. For example, if I would cast Katee Stackoff as Marathon, Kristin Johnston as FemeNazi, and Leelee Sobieski as Ms. Jane Bennett. Come to think of it…I think Kathy Bates would be great as my mom with Judi Dench as my formidable grandmother, but I am not sure how that would go over and that still leaves a good number of vital roles vacant. Perhaps I should just make it all a one woman show…that would simplify everything…or would it?!?!?!

you've got a friend...

I have seen my future and let me tell you…it ain’t pretty. Yes, while visiting the state capitol for the umpteenth time with Ms. Jane Bennet, who flew down from Bham to spend the weekend with me, I saw my future self: a somewhat distressing woman trying a little too hard to be friendly to all the tourist, but also attempting to police the use of flash photography in an exhibit room for the centennial of the great San Francisco earthquake and fire. That might not sound all that bad, but that all changes when you realize that every item in the room was a replica…absolutely no originals. Anyway, I could just see me as that woman trying to enforce a dumb rule and hating every minute of it. Let us hope, I don’t turn into scary queue mad madam m full time. That could be frightening.
All in all, however, the weekend was abfab. In case you are wondering, the pic was taken at a 3-d film about the SF earthquake and fire. We had some time to kill and so we decided to start taking timer photos. (Hey it is better than a collage of the 9 pics I took of Ms. Jane Bennett picking her first orange from a tree, cleaning, peeling, and eating it.) I can't explain how fun it all was. In our technologically savvy world, it is pretty easy to keep in touch with people, but being able to hug a friend is so much better than talking on the phone! I do which, though, that I could have a day to recover.

Cuz, I want to drive the Zamboni...

So, it appears I am one step closer to achieving my plan to marry an Olympic athlete (preferably not from one of the really stud sports that require only the youth of a generation like snowboarding or bobsledding.). You see, I concocted a plan during the past winter Olympics. I have no real desire to watch the games themselves – yes, I know I am highly un-American and will never reach Stephen Colbert’s classification of ‘Megamerican’- but the games do visit come pretty interesting places I wouldn’t mind visiting. Come on…I could so skip most of the actual athletic events, just doing the tourist thing as much as possible. Up until now I had no clue how to get my foot in the door, but that might all change.
You see, FemeNazi might be going on a blind date with one of the Alaska Aces – a pro hockey team based in Anchorage. Of course, this meant we spent a good hour on the phone last night discussing both the gentleman in question and his very questionable team mates. Anyway, the guy is kind of Neanderthal looking (come on…just look at demonic pose he has in the pic), which doesn’t really come as a surprise but is somewhat amusing if you think about FemeNazi dating a hockey player. (Although he is not completely inarticulate…in one interview he talked about how the “puck comes off your stick”…I don’t need to tell you where my mind went.) Ah, what fascinating conversation they will have…FemeNazi – who knows nothing about hockey - talking about Foucault while HockeyGod discusses his latest goals – actual ones not the existential ones. (Excuse me…I need to go and laugh hysterically for a moment!! Meanwhile, I would like to take a moment and encourage everyone to visit the Alaska Aces Roster page since some of the players take really unfortunate photos. Also, keep in mind that all of these guys are barely 20…man do I feel old.)
But back to my plan…so you see in order to meet my Olympic spouse, first FemeNazi hooks up with the HockeyGod. Then she convinces him to try out for the Olympic team. Barely making the cut, but winning over the coaches with his ‘love of the game’ and the amount of heart he puts into his game, HockeyGod will get the last spot on the squad. (Eventually this will inspire a Lifetime made-for-tv film entitled “Passion on the Ice” or something just as cheesy in which I will be played by Kiwi Melanie Lynskey since as the best friend, I will have a small bit role!!) Anyway, FemeNazi will invite me to go to the Olympics as her guest. At some official Olympic gather, my eyes will lock with some stranger thus proving that trashy novel plots can happen in real life. (Of course, this story will be the plot of a Lifetime made-for-tv-sequel this time starring Melanie Lynskey.)
So…there is the plan in its entirety. I think it will fall into place quite nicely, but then again…this is all contigent on the guy calling FemeNazi, but other than that, I think it is pretty foolproof. Although I could be wrong…I often am!!

Guilty of dreaming of you...

Like something out of Amelie, lately, I have been receiving antagonistic postcards from Mikey. Unfortunately for the sender, the postcards are postmarked “Anchorage, AK”, but no matter. According to the notes, it seems that Mikey didn’t die as believed, but instead simply left me to travel the country in some Kerouac fashion with some hot chick he picked up.
Although I chose to believe he died – I simply can’t fathom that after 3 years together he would simply run off with some hussy – the postcards do bring up an interesting point. What if Mikey, like a cylon, simply decided it was time to go and downloaded into a new model? I’m not sure that would be better, but still it is fun to get the postcards even if it proves that I have watched far too much sci-fi!!

And he'd ride down on a great white horse...

Well, now that the week of mourning is over, I can return to blogging about absolutely trivial and inconsequential topics that for some reason or another I find captivating. (I have been getting come conspicuous postcards from Mikey, but I will explain that later.) Last week, FemeNazi sent me my very own knight. Unfortunately, he didn’t ride up on a trusty steed, but USPS vehicles are white, so there is something. All in all, Sir Sigimor Boltof – the current working name – is one of the coolest things I have ever seen…a magnetic cut-out knight that you can dress in several different outfits.
The magnetic clothes punched out well enough, although I am still at a loss as to where one of the pieces of armor goes. How sad is that? I am being out smarted by a toy with a choking warning. It is at times like this, I do wonder about the American education system and how I ever got through it with such flying colors. Does make one pause…
Anyway, at the moment, Sir Sigimor is hanging out on the only cookie tray that is actually magnetic. I never realized what a bummer it is not to have your own refrigerator. My parents just don’t get the same joy out of him as I do. Ah well…at least I have one man in my life that I can control and won’t leave me. It’s a start!!

That I should rise and you should not...

“Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.”
- Isaac Asimov

Before I begin, I must note that in my attempt to write a serious eulogy for my deceased computer, I might have digressed into overly-dramatic-verging-on-comedic territory. It appears that even when I attempt to write something without overt sarcasm or humor, I still achieve something as funny if not simply bizarre. I thought it wise to take Shakespeare’s advice in Macbeth and convey my grief and loss through words (“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.”) I might have been wrong. No matter what, this is my attempt to overcome the loss of a valued and near constant companion - as ridiculous as that may sound.

Ladies, Gentlemen, Computer, Robots, Electrical Appliances.....
I remember it well: my first glimpse of the desktop named Mikey; plastic wrapped and secured with Styrofoam in a cow-print box. I remember Mikey always got the front seat on road-trips and got to spend the night in whatever hotel room I had. No matter where I lived at the moment, Mikey always occupied a table or counter at some prominent position. For nearly 18 months, Mikey was the only device I owned that played DVDs. I don’t need to explain how important that was.

Working until the very last moment, Mikey always gave his all. Although 3 years is an eternity in such a technologically forward society, Mikey stayed spry. He was far too young to die. Perhaps because he always gave his all, we forget his young age. Never balking at the late hours I spent working or the fact that I constantly procrastinated on whatever assignments I currently had, Mikey toiled unrelentingly. Although in reality he may not have been exactly distinctive to others, Mikey was unique to me and I will not forget all of those long hours of collaboration.

In the end, though, I realize that no matter how much I wish it didn’t happen, Mikey no longer remembers anything. As Thomas Mann, wrote “A man's dying is more the survivors' affair than his own.” So it is with a heavy heart that I begin the training of Apollo and try to pick up the pieces of my broken technological life; I’m sure it is what Mikey, living it up in whatever afterlife computers enjoy, would want me to do. But for just a moment, if you can, please join me in raising one final glass to the memory of such a beloved comrade.

Through the storm we reach the shore...

I had hoped to have another guest memorial entry for the Week of Mourning, but unfortunately, the couple of people I asked to contribute, all have asked to extensions. This pretty much leaves me with little to nothing for today since I planned to publish my own eulogy tomorrow.
So…instead of trying to write something funny or touching, I have decided to simply call for a moment of silence. Of course since this is self-regulated, I will have no way of knowing whether or not anyone is actually bored enough to do this, but still it seems like a nice gesture. I originally tried to think of a song dedication, but U2's "With or Without You" seemed a bit dramatic and I couldn't really think of anything else.
Sure, I have probably gone a bit far with the whole mourning of Mikey, but in many ways, that computer stood as a unyielding reminder of my 3 years of grad school like nothing else…the good, bad, and ugly. With the wiping of the hard drive, I lost not only a plethora of personal files, but also almost every paper I wrote in grad school. I doubt I would ever have looked at them again, but still it is the fact that I can’t access them anymore that is rough. Oh the possibility…at the moment just feel permafracked! I’m sure that Apollo – by this I mean both my new computer and the character on BSG - will soon make me forget that I ever owned a computer before and I will soldier on like nothing ever occurred.

Just yesterday morning, they let me know you were gone...

To continue the ‘Week of Mourning’ for Mikey, ChickLit has contributed the following:

Ode to the 'Puter
I would like to dedicate the following haiku to a beloved friend lost so tragically this past Good Friday (which really turned into a Bad Friday. As in the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Friday). Yes, we lost Mikey-the-puter so suddenly that we may be left wondering why he was taken from us. Understand that it is not our place to question such things. He's in the hands of a higher power now and we must accept his passing graciously (by booting the monitor across the room) and reverently, (by curb-stomping the external hard drive that was supposed to save us from such a catastrophe) knowing that he has gone on to better things and now grazes in greener pastures (er…or whatever 'Puters call heaven) where there are no electrical surges, viruses, or sudden memory loss. Amen.

Mikey the 'Puter
Full to the brim with iTunes
Is now dead and gone

Grief brings much anger
Motherboard overboard
Drop-kick the damn mouse

Farewell to Mikey
So fair and so beloved
Apollo replaced you

I put your picture away...

FemeNazi emailed me this picture as soon as she heard the news. While it may not be the most flattering picture of me, it is actually the last photo of Mikey, my old computer. Although I must confess that in fact, it may also be the only pic of Mikey. Anyway, not only does it foreshadow the coming doom and death of Mikey, it even gives a timeline: “This Summer”. (Look closely at the black text at the bottom of the poster above my head.)Unfortunately, the prophecy predicted the coming ‘death’ a season off. Go figure!?!?!?
I spent most of last night trying to get my new computer, Apollo, to act more like Mikey, but so far, it is proving a slow process. Much like training pets and men, it is pretty much an uphill battle at the moment. I can’t really complain though, since I only spent a couple of days computerless (Getting back on the horse and all that). Unfortunately, I am finally beginning to comprehend the amount of word documents I lost and the fact that I probably won’t be able to recreate everything. Perhaps in the end, this will prove to be a positive event…a chance to move onward into a new cyberland of my own creation. I take comfort in that line from the underappreciated Elizabethtown: All forward motion counts. And iff that one does fit, I can always fall back on another line in that film…just dial HELL and I'll answer!

Goodbye...easier said than done...

Originally, I planned a retrospective look at the classic 1986 film Highlander (yeah I couldn’t believe it is that old either). Although there can only be one, I recently watched the 10th Anniversary edition and discovered a big difference between Highlander and the Highlander I remember. Anyhoo…all that got completely discarded when my computer crashed on Good Friday. Ironically, I was in the process of backing up the whole system when it died. Unfortunately, the hard drive got completely wiped which basically means I lost everything including photos, iTunes, and of course all of my grad school papers including a minimal part of my thesis. Luckily, I had most of my thesis info backed up.
One of my computer profs at Western once made the joke that nobody's ever been killed in a computer crash, but when it happens they always wish they were dead! On Friday, I would have completely agreed. I have recovered a bit, but it will take quite a while before I am back to whatever is considered ‘normal’ these days. This experience, however, has revealed how dependent and connected I get to my computers. It almost feels like I lost a member of my family…and not just any relative, but one I actually like.
The loss of Mikey – I know it is a bit creepy, but by dad named the computer – hit me hard…harder than I ever would have imagined. All in all, I came to the realization that for better or worse, I have begun to see my computer as more of a companion than simply a machine. Therefore, I have decided to devote all of this week to the untimely death of my former computer as well as introducing all of my readers – all 4 of you – to my new computer Apollo. I will publish the eulogy for Mikey on Friday and both ChickLit and FemeNazi might also contribute their thoughts on this poignant and heartrending event.

That's why I fell for the leader of the pack...

I don’t go for the typical bad boy. It might happen now and then, but for the most part, when it comes to my ranking of fav characters in books or the small/big screen I always gravitate towards the likable sidekick with a sense of humor. Although Angel had the looks, Xander had the jokes! Oh and lord knows Alan Tudyk was the only reason I made it through the whole season of Firefly.
For this reason, I find my growing affection for Weevil on Veronica Mars fascinating. Played superbly by Francis Capra – the great-grandson of the guy who directed It’s a Wonderful Life – the deposed leader of the PCH motorcycle gang (yeah I know it is corny, but I kinda like them on the show) is more than just the obligatory muscle of the show…he actually has a somewhat developed personality. On the surface, Weevil is a stereotypical badass; leader of the motorcycle gang, lots of tattoos, loves his grandmother…but there seems to be quite a bit more. He has been absent quite a bit of the season, especially after a coup that overthrew his leadership of the PCH motorcycle gang. However, last week’s ep brought him back in full force, finally dealing with the death of his best mate Felix. What I love is the fact unlike so many other badasses Weevil is willing to express his love – purely platonic - for his fallen comrade, practically yelling at one point “No. I LOVED him!” and showing a softer side that doesn’t make him seem vulnerable at all. He is not afraid to kill, but he is not a harden executioner. Instead, in some respects his actions seem to be more along the lines of justice. Although Francis Capra can play a pretty good heartless convict as well. Just watch the third ep of The OC entitled “The Gamble” if you don’t believe me. You’ll see what I mean.
I also love his friendship with Veronica. There is a level of respect between the two of them. He steps in and protects her at times and not just for quid-pro-quo reasons. I sure hope that if a third season of VM does make it on the new CW network, Weevil won’t get left behind or even worse…changed! There is nothing I hate more than when my favorite characters get new personalities between seasons!

When you put your arms around me...

I finally sat down and watched Mad Hot Ballroom last night. Hey...better late than never. Anyway, I sat absolutely mesmerized for the entire film, which if you know me is quite a phenomenon. Even on films I love, I'm usually doing something else at the same time. But man, elementary school children ballroom dancing is something that can't be missed.
The film not only featured ballroom dancing, but also the philosophical thoughts of pre-teen kids...kids stuck in the precarious not-quite-a-teenager-but-not-a-child-anymore. Topics of discussion ranged from girl/boy dynamics and future spouses to classroom politics. Although I enjoyed the side conversations, I have to say that Wilson, a little boy who didn't really say anything at all since he knew little English, was my favorite. He had the biggest blue/green eyes and boy could he dance. I sure hope he has the opprotunity to stick with it.
All in all, this is a film to be seen by everyone. Sure it has it manipulative uplifting moments, but at the end of the day...sometimes it is nice just to feel good and at least dream that we have a hope for the future. No many films do that anymore...

but i still haven't found what i'm looking for...

I’m not the biggest fan of internet quizzes, although I have done my fair share of them to simply take up time during the long and often boring work day. However, FemeNazi found a pretty nifty one concerning religion. The Belief-O-Matic actually asks interesting questions and allows you to rate the importance of the question itself. How intriguing? But what I found even more interesting was the actual results, a percentage breakdown of 27 religious faiths. Two faiths actually tied for 100%: Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants – not really a shocker – and Orthodox Quaker – what the…huh?!?!?! I didn’t even know that there were Orthodox Quakers. I guess you really do learn something new everyday! I also found it interesting that Catholicism and Seventh Day Adventists had such a high percentage while Sikhism and Hunduism both had over 50% rating. Who knew?
Just for the fun of it, I have included the entire list even though I am not familiar with several of the faiths. If any of you readers actually take the quiz, I’d be interested in the results.

1. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestant – 100%
2. Orthodox Quaker – 100%
3. Seventh Day Adventist – 92%
4. Mainline to Conservative
Christian/Protestant – 88%
5. Eastern Orthodox – 82%
6. Roman Catholic – 82%
7. Liberal Quakers – 75%
8. Unitarian Universalism – 65%
9. Reform Judaism – 58%
10. Sikhism – 58%
11. Orthodox Judaism – 55%
12. Hinduism – 53%
13. Bahá’í Faith – 50%
14. Neo-Pagan – 45%
15. Church of Jesus Christ Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) – 43%
16. Islam – 41%
17. Secular Humanism – 35%
18. Mahayana Buddhism – 35%
19. New Age – 35%
20. Theravada Buddhism – 35%
21. Jehovah’s Witness – 32%
22. Taoism – 30%
23. Scientology – 29%
24. Christian Science – 28%
25. Nontheist – 24%
26. Jainism – 24%
27. New Thought - 21%

Happy Birthday to You...

As I suspected all along, I am not really a party-planning person. This fact is really not a surprise. I am pretty sure if you asked most of my friends, each would start laughing hysterically when asked if I had Martha Stewart party skills. I mean I respect the woman for going to prision when most businessmen go out of their way to try and not own up to their transgressions. But this neither here nor there.
You might be wondering...what is going on (kinda like that Talking Heads' song)?!?!?!? Well, my grandmother turns 80 next month and so my mother and I are planning a surprise birthday party as well as a more intimate family BBQ. However, I seem to be the only one doing anything at the moment. I got all the addresses, I wrote the invitation letters, I stuffed envelopes, I addressed all the envelopes, I created the RSVP postcards, and I even figured out how the cater the thing. Now sure my mom is going to be making most of the desserts, but still...a little help now would be appreciated!! I spend a good portion of time at work stuffing envelopes for organizational newsletters. I really don't want to also stuff at home while watching Prison Break. I can't concentrate completely on Wentworth Miller and if I can't do that...what's the point!

And somewhere in the darkness the gambler, he broke even...

Bad news... ChickLit informed me today that Robert Jordan, author of my beloved - even if the last couple of books sucked - Wheel of Time fantasy series, has unfortunately been diagnosed with a rare blood disease called amyloidosis. According to Jordan,

"Untreated, it would eventually make my heart unable to function any longer and I would have a median life expectancy of one year from diagnosis. Fortunately, I am set up for treatment, which expands my median life expectancy to four years...In any case, I intend to live considerably longer than that...I sat down and figured out how long it would take me to write all of the books I currently have in mind, without adding anything new and without trying rush anything. The figure I came up with was thirty years. Now, I'm fifty-seven, so anyone my age hoping for another thirty years is asking for a fair bit, but I don't care. That is my minimum goal. I am going to finish those books, all of them, and that is that."

Although I am deeply saddened by this news and I hope that Mr. Jordan keep on kicking, I can't help but feel a bit selfish and fear that I will never get a conclusion for the WOT series. I know it seems a bit rude, but I have spent a decade - nearly half my life - devoted to this series and I just can't image never knowing how it ends. Well there is that fear and the whole Tolkien syndrome in which the author's offspring attempts to satisfy readers with his sub-par storytelling. I don't know if Robert Jordan has any children, but I am sure some obscure nephew will take it upon themselves to finish what was started. Oh the horror...the horror. Perhaps he can just outline the ending for us all...just in case. Hey you can't criticize me for at least hoping!!

Like a fly on a wall...

Well, it turns out that ants enjoy constant rain and an overly-saturated ground as much as I enjoy visiting quilt shops with my mother - a task I might add that actually ranks on my "Ordinary Task That I Hate" List. Anyway, I bring this up only because I awoke this morning to find my parents battling an army of ants in the kitchen. Luckily, the invading insect militia made a b-line for the sink - ironically full of water - and stayed away from any of the cupboards or food-stuff in general. Almost makes you feel bad for their horrible death by RAID…almost.
Anyway, the whole debacle reminded me of that Simpson's ep in which Homer travels to space in the new NASA publicity program. Due to his lack of experience at being weightless, he crashes into an ant farm on board, releasing all of its inhabitants into the space shuttle just as Ken Brockman begins a televised interview. (I might add that the ep also features a singing James Taylor, but that is neither here nor there.) The live feed in the shuttle gets cut just as the viewer see a giant ant heading toward the camera leading Brockman to consider that the spacecraft has been conquered “by a master race of giant space ants.” My favorite part, though, is a bit later when Brockman concludes that:

"One thing is for certain, there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to...toil in their underground sugar caves."

Although I doubt that a colony of ants in the kitchen is part of a larger insect army sent to bring about an apocalypse, I do wonder that if the weather doesn’t clear up soon if I will be seeing more and more in the house. Fortunately, killing insects/spiders isn’t on the "Ordinary Task That I Hate" List. There is something at least!

I talk about silly things...

In disturbing news - that will most likely amuse those who know me well - I discovered today that sometime in the 6 weeks or so I have been working in agriculture - and by working I mean answering the phone and sending sheep vaccines by UPS - I learned not only the name of the 4 major swine breeds, but also can somewhat distinguish between different pigs. How the heck did this happen?!?!?! I would hate to think that I am beginning to weaken on my barnyard animal stance; I mean if that one goes...what's next? Perhaps if I had tried to learn this information, I wouldn't be so bothered by the fact that I now know it. (By the way, the breeds - in no particular order are: Duroc, Hampshire, Yorkshire, and Landrace.)
I think I could handle this all better if I hadn't picked up all sorts of sheep and lamb facts as well. I am turning into a regular Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm and how scary is that one...I know I feel like examining all of my life choices, although the job pays well and for the most part I only have one boss at a time. Besides if I don't send the BlueTongue vaccine (strains #10, #11, and # 17 I might add), who will? Could I really live with all of that sheep sickness on my conscience? Well, probably, but why lose a paycheck in the process?!?!?!

Like coming off the pills that you take to stay happy...

FINALLY!!! I have made it back to the movie theatre...paid an arm and a leg and I'm pretty sure that I will have give up my first-born child, but, at least this time it was worth it. I LOVED Inside Man. I know what you are thinking, it has Clive Owen in it...of course she found the film enjoyable besides she also liked Doom. But honestly, this film kicked ass!!! I don't want to ruin anything, so I will stop talking about it...at least for now. Who knows about tomorrow!?!?!?
This weekend I also found a new way to experience home videos...watching a synchronized DVD while on the phone with a friend. ChickLit finally broke down and bought P & P. Of course I had been telling her to buy it since it came out. Although it sounds a bit bizarre...it is actually loads of fun and quite old school!!!

There was a boy...a very strange enchanted boy

In honor of Ewan McGregor's birthday, I thought I would post one of my fav pics of the lovely Scotsman. This one of course also includes a studly - but unfortunately philandering - Englishman and two of my other favorite things: a bubble bath and a cup of tea...with a saucer I might add. Ah...to be British!!
Unfortunately, nothing much else is going on of interest. I had a once-a-year Twinkie craving only to discover that at the moment, Hostess is only selling banana flavored desserts in a market tie-in with the DVD release of King Kong. But don't worry I won't bore you with that rant. Oh and I finally watched Jersey Girl - not as bad as I thought, but really I only enjoyed the Sweeny Todd part at the end. For this week at least, I doubt anything could beat meeting the Govenator on Wednesday. Perhaps if Bono happened to stop by to chat, but as ChickLit pointed out...that would cause my head to implode and therefore, I wouldn't be able to communicate for at least a week!

Oh, the farmer and the cowman should be friends...

Although you may have thought it in decline, the mullet remains strong, my friends. Yesterday at Ag Day, I saw more men - and unfortunately women - sporting the 'fashionable' hairdo than ever care to recall...and keep in mind that I spent my childhood summers in Oroville and Mt. Shasta, both with large hick populations. The great thing about yesterday, however, was the fact that these lovable - well some of them at least - were mixed in with the politicians and aides in their fancy, expensive suites or designer heels. Yes...oh what a glorious sight it was...the mixing of two great cultures...the farmer-redneck and the smooth-operating-politician!! That's an image that will stay with you whether you want it to or not!!! Kinda makes you think of the musical Oklahoma...no wait, that is probably just me come to think of it...

There's no governor like our governor!

So after being back in California for 2 months, I have met with the Govenator. I have known people who have lived in Sactown far longer than I who have yet to come face to face with Arnie - I must confess he seems bigger in real life - although they weren't giving out lamb sausage samples. Perhaps that is the key!! Anyway, Mr. Schwarzenegger and I talked briefly and while we shook hands, he congratulated me on the great work I do for agriculture in California. Oh, if he only knew all the things I do...answering the phone, lying to legislative members about the whereabouts of one of my bosses, and don't forget sending out vaccines. Man! What would the agriculture industry of California do without me (and by that I mean the whole 6 weeks I have worked in it)? But hey...pretty cool all in all!!! I met the Govenator!!
In addition to that exciting news, I also got to spend the day with a cute and chivalrous ranch hand guy - oh I can picture the film/trashy novel now!!! - all day long. Not bad...I could spend more days like that!
P.S. I originally had the idea of putting up one of the shots of a muscled Arnold, but this is the pic in all the official state stuff and personally I find it a bit disturbing. What's up with his hair?!?!!?

Drink my coffee hurry up...got to get to work on time!

Don't get me wrong. I love that I have a job...a job that for the most part isn't all that bad. However, I may have to change my tune after tomorrow.
You see, March 29th is California Ag Day at the State Capitol. I know that sounds harmless enough, but this is what those 5 little words - along with an article and a preposition I think, but I could be wrong since I pretty much suck at grammar - means: I have to be to work by 7am, help to set up 2 different 10 foot displays, which includes pictures of cuts of meat and what part of the animal they come from (unfortunately this includes lamb), and then hand out brochures and pork samples all day. This may not seem so bad, but keep in mind that I can't answer the simplest ag questions...so pretty much I am doomed. Man am I gonna need some coffee in the morning...

Don't Let the Bastards Grind You Down!

I must confess, everyone I know had a somewhat crap day, varying levels, but still nots-so-good times, and I'm not feeling all that original tonight and. I stole this image from Ms. Jane Bennett. After months of no updates, she put up 2 new images...one of them being this glorious photo of Ewan in a kilt (come on...who could ask for anything more?!?!) I can't wait for his new film in which he plays Bonnie Prince Charlie...well actually I think in the film he plays an actor playing the "Young Pretender" in movie, but I could be wrong. I'm not sure if it is the prospect of a new Ewan McGregor film or the possibility that this bunch of men in kilts that might blot out all Braveheart images/references that appeals to me (except for that crazy Irish dude that talks to God...I dig tha guy!!). Anyway, this brightened up what had begun as a dismal evening. I won't go into it, but sometimes it is nice to simply stare at a pretty sight, forget all the crap in the world, and bitch on the phone with good friends about every minute thing wrong.
Talking to FemeNazi, well actually commiserating with her, reminded me of a funny line I heard the other day. She might have said it to me, but I honestly don't remember. The statement went something like this, "I love you, but no I haven't read your blog". I know you probably thought this was going somewhere, but no. That is all I really had to say...I originally meant to go somewhere with the whole set up, but alas, it now escapes me so I think I will simply climb into bed and wait until tomorrow to use my brain again!!

If you drink don't drive do the watermelon crawl...

Combined, my bosses recieve a crap load of magazines and newspapers on a number of different agricultural topics. I am actually amazed at the number of weekly papers devoted to things like packer associations and the like. Who knew?!?! Anyway, earlier this week both of my bosses were out of the office leaving me nothing to do and so I started reading the articles out of The Packer. For the most part I understand what is going on and why certain topics are important in the agriculture world, but I sometimes get lost in the jargon.
Anyway a couple of pages in, there was a picture of a couple of girls, dressed formally, spitting something. This intrigued me of course...it turns out that there is a National Watermelon Association - which apparently is hoping to market watermelons to the UK, which was the point of the article - and each year, the organization chooses a National Watermelon Queen based on how far she can spit a watermelon seed. How nifty is that?!?!?! This years queen won by spitting more than 23 feet. Now that is what I deem royalty!!

Did I disappoint you or leave a bad taste in your mouth?

Although it has taken me a while to admit it, I don’t think I will ever love a show again as I loved Buffy. Last summer, one of my profs asked if I thought I would ever find a replacement for my beloved show. At the time, I didn’t really have an answer, but a week or so later, I assured him that I thought Veronica Mars had the potential given a couple more years (keep in mind I hadn’t yet discovered BSG, but I don’t believe it serve as a complete replacement either). Unfortunately, it turned out I was wrong. Last night’s ep of VM proved that fact.
Don’t get me wrong, I still like the show, but it keeps pulling crap that I can’t condone... main characters are conspicuously missing for multiple eps at a time, the overall mystery doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, the “mystery-of-the-week” eps are getting stupid and lackadaisical, and Veronica doesn’t seem to have the same spunk she once possessed. All this is further compounded by the extended breaks that the UPN keeps inserting in the season. It is hard enough keeping all the look-a-like high schoolers straight let alone having to also remember complex elements of the bus crash investigation. I have never claimed the 7 seasons of Buffy were without flaws, but than again, I forgave more back then.

If You Think You're Lonely Now...

I have recently discovered a fantastic way to pass the time at work. Unfortunately, now that I have caught up with most of the backlogged tasks, I don't have enough to fill the day. This of course makes the 8.5 hours I spend at the office go even slower. Anyway, I'm not exactly sure how it came to me, but I began to reminisce about the article titles I used to read all the time in grad school and how inflated with language they were. In many cases, the titles were far more informative - and to be honest, interesting - than the actual title. At the same time I began to ponder the ridiculous title of the latest trashy novel I had read. I think it was something completely ludicrous like To Pleasure a Prince or perhaps the outlandish Devil in a Kilt - a book I recently stumbled across again after several years.
Anyway, to say the least, trashy novels normally suffer from both a bad title and a equally horrendous cover pic. Now often this makes for a good laugh, but I began to wonder if more people - or fewer for that matter - would read them with grad school like article titles. So...I started to create new titles for the plots of trashy novels I have read. For instance Sabrina Jeffries' The Pirate Lord could in fact be "Raging Lust: A Study of Early 19th Century Piracy and its Affect on English Aristocratic Culture". I mean who wouldn't want to read that. Another example of a more contemporary book, Mary Janice Davidson's The Royal Pain might have been entitled "The Modern Monarchy: Penguins, International Politics, and Royal Courtship in 'The Last Frontier'". Once you begin it is kind of addicting...but then again that might just be me!!!

Well, if they freed me from this prison...

At long last, Prison Break has returned...and I might add...better than ever. Oh how I love Wentworth Miller and his English degree from Princeton. I also appreciate that for once, the brothers actually seem like they could be related. So often you get the amusing "family resemblances" or lack there of like with the 2 brothers on Numbers, Don and Charlie. I mean, if I was their father, I would have had some hard questions for their mother.
Anyway, I believe I blog about my concerns over the 4 month hiatus, but apparently my anxiety was for nothing. The new ep tonight was brilliant and not in a cheesy WB way. Once you get past the premise, the show is remarkably articulate. I'm not gullible enough to go along with everything, but man does the show hook you. And if you lose interest in the current situation, there is always next season to think about. Will they break out? What then? Will Michael, Lincoln, and their entourage simply sneak from one town to another like on that old series The Fugitive? I am fascinated. Well that and the cast of characters...and not just the pretty ones. Needless to say without a new Battlestar ep until October, it is nice that at least for awhile I have something worth watching...

You'll pant, and pant once more...

Since I now actually pull in an income that allows me to pay all of my bills, I have started to invest in a new wardrobe. Unfortunately grad school wear isn't the current office style. Anyway, I recently purchased a pair of crop pants and proceeded to wear them to work today even though it was raining. Ok...enough back story. You see, today I discovered that I bought loud pants - and not in a "I'm a senior citizen and will wear the most colorful golfing pants I can find" way. Every time I walked down the hall I marveled at the amount of noise. Perhaps they will become less loud once they have gone through the washing machine and drier. At least that is what I am clinging to at the moment!!
If you are wondering why I chose this pic, it is actually quite simple. I searched Google images for "noisy pants" and came up with this. In fact, I actually Google found 6 pages worth of images...how scary is that?!?! Ah well, I can't figure out what the images is about other than cover art and to be honest, I am ok with that!

And you wasn't polite!

At long last, VM finally aired a new ep. It's about bloody time...I have been without for 6 weeks or so. However, I ended up watching the ep alone. Renaissance Man, my VM, accomplice is getting sick and since I can't afford - and I mean this literally more than figuratively, I decided not to risk it. The funny part of the whole thing is that I have been going over to renaissance Man's for the last month on Wednesday nights to get in the habit and now on the night of the long awaited new ep...I sit alone! Ah, what cruel fate...
In other fascinating news I am sure you will skim, apparently fractions are no longer called fractions. Apparently sometime in the last 7 years - yes I am a geek and know the number of years since my last math class - math lingo has changed. FemeNazi was helping out a teenager with her homework and stumbled across this change in vocab. Why can't things ever stay the same?!?! I guess ratio does make sense, but then again, so does fraction...make up your mind people!!!! Some of us don't want to sound like an idiot when talking to 13 year olds about math since most likely I will already sound like an idiot. No need to compound the problem!!!

Those were the days, my friend...

Well, I think it is official...I have a nickname for pretty much everyone now. You see, Renfield finally got around to agreeing on a name. So far, the reason behind his nickname wins out for best backstory. You see his father used to say that "You could never be Dr. Frankenstein, but you could always be Igor." Along the same lines, "You could never be Dracula, but you could always be Renfield." This of course reminded me of the Buffy ep when Dracula came to town and Xander fell under his thrall...oh and Giles tried to get it on with the three wives of Dracula...yeah I know everything reminds me of a Buffy ep, but I think this time it is justified. Besides, it is my blog...
I know some of you have been waiting for my passionate BSG finale review. Unfortunately, it ain't comin'. I thought about writing one, but instead I bored my parents with my predictions - who have never seen the show I might add -and discussed the finale's finer and crappy points with Renfield. Years ago I found the joy of talking to my parents about topics they could care less about to see how quickly their eyes glaze over. People seem to do the same thing after asking me about my thesis topic, but with the parental unit there is a history of past glaze-eyed references that make it all better...all going back to the glorious summer of Robert Jordan back in 1998. Ah how the years fly...but don't worry...I won't bore you with those rants!!

Sorrow is their master crackling with laughter...

Tonight on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart brought up a topic I have been wondering about for years...what would happen if a werewolf landed on the moon? Not that I see NASA creating werewolves to find out since they can't even build spaceships or probes that work correctly, but still...would it cause werewolf overload leading to a complete cure of the nocturnal beast or more likely, would this close proximity to the moon create a more primal, feral creature?
Of course for this discussion to even work one must suspend a couple realities, but still it is an interesting question. Often we blame the moon for mood swings in people that cause them to revert back to a more primal being whether it be in a romantic sense - yes I know I have read too many romance novels...no need to remind me - or even a more violent streak. Traditionally full moons are blamed for erractic behavior or odd occurrences and such...but back to my original thought...if only I could get my hands on a werewolf...although that may be the easy part. I've got an uncle that believes we never even landed on the moon, but that is another blog...

For those about to die...we salute you

My parents purchased the latest Harry Potter film installment this weekend and so I borrowed it after they went to bed. Since it has been a couple months since I saw the movie, I ended up noticing a couple of new things. First of all...Cedric kinda looks like a cross between Ryan Atwood on The O.C. and Eminem in 8 Mile, but a bit more preppy of course. He's English don't forget! Second Cedric's dad has a cape which he whips about like the Phantom. If only the film had more fog scenes with him. And although this one isn't exactly new, Ron and Harry do make a cute couple. Not as good as Seth and Ryan, but still definite potential!
The world might possibly be ending, becuase for once I actually enjoyed one of ChickLit's Sunday quizzes. Often I do try them out, but the results are far too guessable and therefore not as fun...unless of course you find out that you would fit best within BSG's crew. Ah that was a good day. But I digress, today's quiz involved painters...something I don't know much about. But hey, I did end up getting a painter I knew at least. Always makes me feel smart...I especially like the whole "only a master painter could represent your glorious contradictions." What is that supposed to mean?!?!?!?!

Who Should Paint You: Pablo Picasso

Your an expressive soul who shows many emotions, with many subtleties. Only a master painter could represent your glorious contradictions.

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

From the lover's in love at the centre of stage...

MY EYES!!!! MY EYES!!!!!! This has to be one of the scariest things I have ever seen in my life...and I have to say I have seen some amazing things...You see, ChickLit told me about this brilliant site, Smart Bitches Who Love Trashy Novels. With a tagline of "All of the Romance, None of the Bullshi@t", you know you are in for a good time. Little did I know I was in for a laugh-so-hard-starting- crying-and-nearly- peed-my-pants kind of funny. We stumbled upon a weekly ritual of the site, in which 2 woman - at least I figure they are women, but you never know- comment or in most cases completely mock bad romance novel covers. If that doesn't seem to funny, take a look at the pic to the left and then tell me you didn't start laughing again...ChickLit and I made it back a couple of months before I had to go. It sucks having to share a computer,but at least this way we can spread out the hilarity for a couple of days. Lord knows I need a good laugh that isn't about my life or thesis!!
You see I have often wondered about the covers of romance novels ever since I had to shelve them at the bookstore. For an industry that pulls in $1.2 billion a year and accounts for 54.9% of all mass-market paperback fiction sold (also 39.3% of all fiction sold), you'd think the publishers could come up with better covers. But apparently they are doing something right. I recently found out that apparently around 64 million Americans read at least one romance novel in a given year and of those people, 78% were women while 22% were men. And hey, if that didn't blow your mind enough , 42% of those readers hold a BA or higher. Now I know statistics can say whatever, but still those are some pretty impressive numbers for a genre of books that boasts Fabio look-a-likes on their covers....

hoping for the best but expecting the worst...

Ok...I am not sure how much more repetition I can handle. I understand that The O.C. mainly relies on beautiful people, beaches, and well...I guess that is pretty much it. I guess it also specialized is self-aware drama, although I am finding that in reality, the writers had 1 season worth of material and they simply recycle it every year. Take this season...Ryan and Marissa - angsty again (look at the pic...they are the only established couple not standing next to eachother), Sandy and Kirstin's marriage - somewhat rocky again, Seth and Summer - dating although they act like a really cool sibling superhero duo. Nothing ever really changes. The end of the season approaches and it looks like once again Julie is getting married, Marissa is chosing to be with a bad guy and then will expect Ryan to bail her out when things head south. And despite how much I like Sadie, she looks and acts a lot like Teresa and kinda reminds me of a female Johnny. Don't get me started on that one. Oh and lest I forget, Ryan got in a fight this week and Seth covered for him. I did enjoy the phone conversation between those two while Seth rolled around in Ryan's bed...what a cute couple they would make...and next week looks like a party with intrigue...like we've never seen that one before!?!?!?!
I'm not expecting originality. I fully admit that is not why I watch the show, but hey...at least throw me something new and not the same charcters with different hair color and bigger boobs. I need something more...or as a compromise at least a few scenes with a shirtless Ryan. I am sure that could make everything better. That and a couple more Seth/Ryan scenes...they always steal the ep. Ryan is a great famulus to Seth. (Yeah, I thought I could work the word of the day in, but now it just seems stupid, but I will keep it in anyway since I lke the meaning: an attendant or assistant, especially of a medieval sorcerer or scholar. Gotta love a word that is so fun to say!!)

I eat leftovers with mashed potatoes...

What's up with Lean Cuisine meals and broccoli? Today as I ate my chicken linguini meal, I realized that every single Lean Cuisine meal I have had for lunch this week has included the horrid vegetable. I just can't handle it anymore. I have never been a fan of broccoli....and come to think of it, that is probably the only thing I have in common with George Bush Sr. As a child, I happily - well maybe not happily but at least voluntarily - ate spinach and brussel sprouts. I like veggies, but broccoli never caught on. Oh well...it could be worse. I could have to actually make my lunches. At this point, I just eat around the small little clumps.
And for those doubting thomases who thought that I would forget my resolution to learn a new word every day, I only have one thing to write: tabescent. All in all, a pretty nifty way to describe something that has withered or dwindled away...much like my hope in ever finishing my thesis!! But hey, that is a whole other issue...

You won't shout, you're spoon fed!

So after watching P & P for the millionth time - I honestly lost count years ago - I decided to learn a new word a day. If I am truthful, which ChickLit would probably argue isn't often, this came from watching quite a few BBC costume dramas, some good ol' Shakespeare, and some good early films recently. You see, after I watch these films, I always lament the fact that I never have such witty & wordy comebacks. English - at least the version I speak - lacks for interesting replies and quips.
For instance, Lizzie doesn't just tell Darcy no, she snarkly replies "From the first moment I met you, your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others made me realize that you were the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry." Come on...you know you love it. Or in another scene, instead of simply stating the fact she doesn't like him, she comments "It would be most inconvenient since I swore to loathe him for eternity." Classic people, classic.
Before I get carried away and people actually comment on my blog, I should point out I realize that not everyone in England in 18th and 19th centuries spoke like that. Several people have made sure I remember that fact, but as with most things in life...I simply choose to ignore that small bit of truthiness (oh how I love you Stephen Colbert). Therefore, as I stated in the beginning of this blog, I have started a new learning regime: one new word a day that I not only learn, but also have to share it with someone; although spelling correctly is optional as always. So here is today's word, chosen at random from Webster's New World Dictionary: polydactyl. Apparently, this refers to a person or animal with more than the normal number of fingers or toes. So there you go folks. I actually had a friend in high school who suffered from polydactlyism, although I had no clue of the actual scientific name. So there you go, not only did you get a mesmerizing discussion of the finer quotes from the new P & P film, but also learned a new word. My work is done...

Maybe I'll move back home and pay off my loans...

Although no one but me will care, the really good Jamie Bamber site has finally reopened its glorious galleries. This news not only means that I can once again gaze into Jamie's big blue eyes while bored at work, but I once again have access to one of the best BSG - not to mention Hornblower - gallery on the web. Again, most of you could really care less, but keep in mind that Friday's ep is the season finale. I now have to wait months...MONTHS...for a BSG fix and lord knows there is going to be some epic cliffhanger - not sure how they are going to ante-up the last couple, but I have faith in the show - that I will have to specualte for months over until the middle of summer. I know what you are thinking...tragedy...such a horrible situation much like AIDS and poverty in Africa. (See...with that clever piece of sarcasm I have lowered myself one level on the geek-o-meter!!!) I do understand that in the grand scheme of everything, sci-fi tellie doesn't matter, but I have to have something. I guess I will just have to go back to my staple...whatever that is this week. I can't be bothered to keep up.
Work continues to fly by. Despite my complaint earlier, I really do enjoy going to work. I would enjoy it even more if I got to start a bit later, but at least this way I can work a full 40 hours a week. And since the grad school has finally gotten of its collective arse and told me how to go about registering for contining units...I have tution to pay. And in exciting news, for once it will be with real money...not another loan!! Since payment of my other loans looms, I have been considering faking my own death. I know it seems like a complicated scheme to avoid paying $50,000 back to the government, but hey...when have I ever lived an uncomplicated life?!?!?

must be the clouds in my eyes...

I believe it is official now...the Oscars show is where comedic people go to die. For some reason, this hosting job sucks the life and funny out of hysterically amusing people. That is the only way I can explain it. I had high hopes for Jon Stewart, I am not too proud to admit that, but alas...he too has failed at a hosting gig previously stunk up by Whoopi, Dave Letterman, and let us not forget last year's victim Chris Rock. It is almost like it is a ritual yearly sacrificial offering to appease the Oscar gods or something. Just a theory. Anyway, it saddens me, but one must face the facts...Jon Stewart didn't do so hot. Some of the bits worked and by the end, he had a bit more rhythm, but for the most part everything fell flat. Aside from the political style ads, Ben Stiller coming out in a green onesy, and the whole make-up joke, the show for the most part was forgettable.
I did love the shock at Crash winning. ..and man did people look shocked. I enjoyed this film, but didn't think it had a chance against Brokeback. Man was I wrong, although it does make you wonder if perhaps the Academy just didn't have the courage to award a gay-themed film as Best Picture of the year. Oh well...at least I liked Crash unlike most of the other winners in recent years...Chicago, The English Patient, Million Dollar Baby, A Beautiful Mind...the list could go on and on and on...I think I will cling to that for awhile!!
At least until nexct year's show.

I might as well enjoy my life and watch the stars play...

Although I could devote an entire blog to the joy of buying new shoes yesterday, I will instead fulfill a promise I made and publish my Oscar predictions. If years of watching the Oscars have taught me anything, it is that the people/film I hope will win, never seems to. So...here goes people. I am trying to go into this years awards with as little emotion as possible, but we all know that will fail. I mean to be honest, as far as I am concerned, the Academy missed some notable films...Batman Begins anyone?!?! So with far too much cynicism but without further ado...
Best Picture
Will: Brokeback Mountain
Wish: Brokeback Mountain
All gay cowboy jokes aside, this film could have failed in a million and one ways and yet stands as one of the most touching love stories I have ever watched.
Best Actress
Will: Reese Witherspoon.
Wish: Keira Knightley
Come on...I know Ms. Witherspoon deserves it for Walk the Line, but I love P & P...gotta pick Lizzie Bennett!!
Best Actor
Will: Phillip Seymour Hoffman
Wish: Either Heath Ledger or Joaquin Phoenix
I am perfectly willing to admit I really didn't care for Capote, but the Oscars are not always about the current film, but a body of work and Hoffman has both Heath and Joaquin beat here. Besides, I am sure that Mr. Phoenix will get his one day soon...who knows about Ledger, but any girl who loved 10 Things I Hate About You can dream!
Best Supporting Actress
Will: Rachel Weisz
Wish:Michelle Williams
Although I love Rachel - who doesn't love the Mummy films or About a Boy - I thought Michelle conveyed so much emotion with mere glances and often stole the film away from the boys...what more can I say? That is the sign of a great performance.
Best Supporting Actor
Will: Paul Giamatti
Wish: Matt Dillon or Jake Gyllenhaal
Giamatti will win not because Cinderella Man was fab, but because he was denied last year for Sideways - another film I didn't really care for...that's the Oscars for you!!
Best Director
Will: Ang Lee
Wish: Ang Lee
Despite his pronouncement after filming Sense & Sensibility that he would never work with sheep again...ah the rest is history...
Screenplay - Original
Will: Crash
Wish: Crash
Because it is such a fantastic film and not up for much, I think it will do well in this category...at least in theory.
Screenplay - Adapted
Will: Brokeback Mountain
Wish: Brokeback Mountain
Unlike last year's Return of the King, I actually think that the sweeping wins - unabashed hope here people - are deserved not guiltily given.
Cinematography
To be honest I have no clue who will win the category, but I hope it is Batman Begins since it got undeservedly snubbed from everything. Although it was a blockbuster, the acting was perfection - with the exception of Mrs. Cruise - and the dark feel of the movie was a breath of fresh air.
Animated
Will: Wallace and Gromit
Wish: Wallace and Gromit
I don't think a corpse bride has any real chance of beating out a cheese loving inventor and his trusty sidekick...not that I think it should.

Well, there you have it. As for all the others, I really could care less. For any of the artistic categories such as costume and scenery, I hope for P & P, but then again I would hope that no matter what! Mr. Darcy will always have my loyalty...

proof that love's not only blind but deaf

It turns out...the Brits have become more Americanize than eve...much to my horror. I recently began a fling with the Arctic Monkeys. (Those of you who know my theories on music will understand that statement...everyone else can just wonder or think I am a weirdo...I'm pretty sure you already do.) Anyway, I read an article today about how a couple of doctors in the UK have come out against the album cover because it promotes smoking. From looking at the pic, the band and I actually came up with the same defense...does the guy look like he is profiting at all by smoking that cigarette?!?!
Come on...if anything its a deterant people. I don't want to become him. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to argue that smoking is a teriffic thing. My grandmother's second husband died of ephazyma...I am just concerned that like the US, the UK has become a hyper-sensitive place. I am sure that it always was, but in my reality - actually quite far from bona fide reality - it was still a place you could have slightly "scandalous" cover art and not be criticized all over the place. Although I don't like tha aroma, what would a pub be like without the smokey haze and bad live music? Perhaps all in all it would be a far, far better experience, but the way things are going...I don't think I really want to live until I am 90. Who knows how bad it will be by then. But in the end, I am pretty sure no matter how popular the Arctic Monkeys are now...I doubt they will be around then?!?!

I bet that you look good on the dance floor...

Ah...they don't make them like they used to. It is amazing to me, how political Ninotchka actually is. Filmed in 1939, it doesn't shy away from taking a sarcastic look at Stalin and the Russia of the late 1930s. Who knew when Greta Garbo stopped dying from tragic diseases in films...it would be such political satire. Brillant...simply brillant.
Speaking of tragic...I also discovered today - from a crap book of course - that although I do often suffer from insomnia, I am afflicted with the wrong type. In turns out, in order to find that perfect man that can "fix you" - I am about to gag here people - you need to have some sort of dark traumatic experience that causes the insomnia...simple stress doesn't do the trick it seems. So typical of me...get part of it right, but in the end...still screwing it up. Ha Ha Ha. Could be worse really...instead of the inability to sleep, I could dream of Lindsay Lohan movies every night...oh and the Olsen twins. Oh the horror, the horror!!!