It has recently come to my attention that perhaps life doesn’t reach the pinnacles of wonder and ecstasy that I once associated with adulthood. The real tragedy is that I apparently I spent the supposed “best years of my life” in high school fantasying about a reality that only exists on either the big or small screens and in trashy novels. I didn’t enjoy high school at all and figured that once I reached a mature age all would fall into place. It now seems that the “best years of my life” will actually be the sadistic grad school years…just think about that for a moment. Don’t get me wrong, I meant some life-long friends up at Western, but constant concerns about money and the idiotic nature of academia – not to mention 6 quarters of TAing hell – somewhat marred the overall experience.I think Dante Hicks sums it up best in Clerks while debating which Star Wars film hat the better ending: Empire or Jedi. “Empire had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All Jedi had was a bunch of Muppets.” Now I understand this is not the perfect quote, but it sums up my current thinking. I don’t mean to be such a downer, but at the moment, I just can’t find much to be pleased about. I know this will pass, but at the moment I want to be a little melodramatic…it is the emotional state I am living at this moment. For some reason, I can’t seem to find a happy medium in life. Apparently, I aspire to live in a world that doesn’t exist. Sure I could choose to try and change the world, but at the end of the day, despite my claims to the opposite, I am quite apathetic.
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