*drum roll please*
Wait, wait...I should warn you that the following is not fo the faint of heart. The images are often sexy and the comments are always a bit racy!
*ok...drum roll please*
Hump Day Hotties Extravaganza!
Some of you might be wondering why there was no Hump Day Hotties on Wednesday. Here's why: today is the end of The OC, a show the Mad Madam M and I watch religiously, much to the chagrin of all who know and love us.Now, M refers to all characters interchangably between their real names and their character names. I think relaity has warped for her a bit and it's all one in the same now. Anyway, to avoid confusion, here's a run down of the cast with real AND character names (the dude characters anyway).
Peter Gallagher played Sandy Cohen
Adam Brody played Seth Cohen
Ben McKenzie played Ryan Atwood
Chris Carmack played Luke Ward
Mad Madam M: Welcome to the O.C. indeed. I'm telling you, if I ever came across a hitchhiker that looked like that, I might have to change my policy about stopping. I mean we have all seen Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back. There is a "hitcher's code" you know!
Crystal: Or what about The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? There are exceptions to the hitcher hiker rule. And really, if something that cute wanted to jump me, I might be willing to lie down and take it like a girl.
Mad Madam M: Nothing like a black and white photo to make a sexy boy even hotter. I don't know what is better... his piercing look that makes me think that he has eyes for no one but me or the awesome gentle-tossled-hair/stubble /tight-black-t-shirt combo. Thank goodness I don't have to decide!
Crystal: I love that his macho-I-slept-with-your-mom character ended up with a gay dad. Priceless!
Mad Madam M: Sure the hair screams "I'm a soap star" but to be quite honest I spend most of my time staring at the naked abs. I mean really...naked abs ON DISPLAY!!
Crystal: All I can say is Thank God I have really good glasses and can enjoy this view. Being blind would be really inconvenient here.
Mad Madam M: Sure he has an interesting facial attribute that has lead to the nickname "Crazy Eyebrow Man", but he wears those eyebrows proudly and you have to give hims some credit for that. Besides it's Peter Gallagher people...Peter Gallagher!!
Crystal: I'd do him. And his crazy eye brows.
Mad Madam M: I know what your are thinking...how can he make this list when he was such a jerk in several 90's flicks? My only answer for you, he has also starred in several Broadway musicals including the revival of Guys & Dolls. I personally find that quite sexy!
Crystal: Oh my God. If you made me listen to that CD of Gays & Drag Queens ONE MORE TIME. *)*%&%^#^T*&Y&()*)* So there!
Mad Madam M: Ah...aren't they a cute family? Clearly Ryan takes after Kirsten, but still...it could happen. Besides Ryan is smiling. I repeat...Ryan is smiling!! Check out a pic of the whole family.
Crystal: Clearly Ryan is the hotter of the twin boys here. Seth is the lovable genetic reject, like Danny DeVito in TWINS.
Mad Madam M: Sure Ryan has always been my favorite of the two (Crystal claimed Seth from the beginning), but this photo has to be the hottest pic I have ever seen. Cute boy holding videos IN A video store. I can't tell you how many of my fantasies start out this way...
Crystal: You know how some video stores just have the empty cases on the shelves and you have to take them to the counter where they stick the videos in so you don't steal them? He's hiding porn in those cases. It's all just a front. Which is why he MAY be the Danny Devito, but he's clearly the man for me.
Mad Madam M: From the backdrop, I would guess that he is in a prison cell of some sort. But hey...haven't we learned anything from Michael and Linc over on Prison Break. Prisons can be sexy too!
Crystal: Again, the man for me. Prison bitches and porn. Oh, yeeeeeeah. Cue bad '80s porno flick music *Bow chica bow bow*
Mad Madam M: I love this pic, although upon further study - 'cuz let's just say I have studied it well - I am a bit disconcerted by it's resemlance to a Buffy the Vampire Slayer poster I once owned. (Who am I kidding with the whole 'once owned' crap? It's somewhere in my storage unit at the moment!) Here's the original poster.
Crystal: He looks like he wants me to frisk him. *Bow chica bow bow*
Mad Madam M: As you may have already realized...I am a sucker for black and white photos. I especially adore the soulful look in this pic. I think he is staring into my soul...
Crystal: Nah. This is his gay shot. You can have this one, M. I prefer them on the straighter side of life. Unless he wants to go shopping with me. Then we can work this out.
Mad Madam M: Doesn't he just remind you of George Clooney is Ocean's 11? Doesn't he? Okay I guess that might just be me, but he does look good. The unbuttoned shirt...the stubble...the look that makes me want to confess to every naughty thought or fantasy I have ever had...
Crystal: Mmmmm. George Clooney. Ocean's 11. Sorry...what were we talking about?
Mad Madam M: The boy knows how to lean. And wear a tight Lynyrd Skynyrd t-shirt. And model well-fitted jeans. And tossle his hair just so...
*Takes a moment to wipe the drool away from my chin*
Crystal: He kinda has the 1980s rocker look going here. It's hawt. He's yours, I understand, but he's still hot!
Mad Madam M: I admit this isn't the greatest pic, but Ben McKenzie is wet. And you can see his muscles. Did I mention he is wet? What more could a girl ask for? Except one night to use his body as a jungle gym? A weekend? An eternity? (I can't believe I just wrote that. Perhaps I need to spend some time at the Supernatural Obsessive Support Group Sanitarium to try get my mind off of Ben McKenzie and perhaps recover from my Jensen Ackles obsession at the same time!)
Crystal: Dude, don't lie. You totally threw that bucket of water on him. I saw you.
Mad Madam M: There is a distressingly large amount of images featuring Ben standing around. Sometimes things just work out wonderful for everyone involved...especially the viewer!
Crystal: Well, it's awesome when you can make money just standing around. I'd do it if I could. Totally.
Mad Madam M: So I admit the jacket is a bit camp, but once again we get Ben leaning...and with good hair! For those of us who have endured 4 years of Ryan's follicle ups-and-downs (far more downs than ups) that is a wonderful sight!!
Crystal: Nope. I'm not digging on the hair. It's a bit too feathered Farrah Faucet for me. And the jacket? Dude, he and Seth are in a gay love square, aren't they?
Mad Madam M: While this might not be the "hottest" of images, there is something sexy about the two foster brothers together that makes me happy inside. What I am going to do with their poolhouse conversations? Or the ever-patient look on Ryan's face while Seth dithers on about some inconsequential matter? What am I going to do? Please tell me. TELL ME!!!! The Winchester brothers better not leave me this year as well. I'm not sure what I will do!!
Crystal: Calm down before I throw a bucket of water on YOU. Sheesh. There's always the DVDs. And I do like this pic, it's funny looking. And I like funny looking shit.
Mad Madam M: This almost makes me want to live in Southern California and deal with all the pretty people on the beach. Well almost...
Crystal: No. Because I am not one of the pretty people. The pretty people would point and laugh at me. And that would be bad.
Mad Madam M: Again this might not be the prettiest pic, but it has charm and charisma! Seth sporting a strung out look with funky hair and Ryan with a crazy look in his eyes. (Not that crazy eye Ryan isn't sexy...) Take a good look (as if you need an excuse!) it looks like at any moment he is going to go crazy on someone and throw a punch!
Crystal: They look stoned. Seriously stoned. I like it. Bad, bad, bad, bad boys...you make me feel so gooooooood!
Mad Madam M: Two hot boys in a pool. Do I really need to add anything more? I mean, I can stare all day at Ryan's abs...can't you?
Crystal: I have no words. Except...take off the swim trunks and go naked. Yeah!
Mad Madam M: I would really like to know what the photographer said to achieve those looks. Ben looks confused while Adam seems to know a secret, a really good one, that he is just dying to share. Or maybe he is just grabbing Ryan's butt. I mean we see the arm, but the hand disappears somewhere behind Ben...
Crystal: Seth farted. Ryan is trying to escape the smell and still look pretty. Oh, the ANGST of Hollywood.
Mad Madam M: Can you ever get enough of these two? I know I can't, even if Ryan is suffering from some blood loss and looks like he could faint at any moment. Seth couldn't leave him behind...I mean, what about the zombies?
Crystal: I love that the one I liked is afraid of zombies. I guess this is The OC edition of Shaun of the Dead. Or something.
Welcome to The OC, bitches!
