I wanted to be great 'cuz good would not be good enough...

I began pondering last night...well I ponder most nights, but this time I thought about what it would take to meet Bono. I mean if I really look at the situation. I am no longer a child, which would make things easier. I don't have a life threatening disease that would allow for some wish-making organization to set up the meeting. I have never lived or even been to Central America or Africa.
So this got me thinking. I should become a politician. Bono meets with all sorts of political figures, even ones he doesn't agree with. I mean I would be completely agreeable and all that. Perhaps I could even help to save the world. I mean how cool would that be?
However, with all this thought of meeting the man, I began to wonder what I would ask. I mean...you can't meet with a guy and simply gush about how much you like his band and stuff. That would just be sad. So I have decided, for the moment, that I will not pursue a life in politics...not until I can figure out at least 3 good questions to ask. Otherwise, I am just a sad, obsessed fan that has more than 4 U2 posters in their home...wait that is me. Now all I have to do is get elected to some high position and come up with a couple good questions. I will be accepting suggestions...

English girls can be so mean...

Ok...so nothing seems to be going right at the moment. I didn't really choose the image that apears to the left. I mean, it is an image stored on my computer, but I intended to have an image of Capt. Aubry and Dr. Maturin from Master and Commander. Unfortunately, either my computer or blogger.com - or both for that matter - simply don't want to concede to my demands and I am forced to acquiesce. I can get no other image to load. Yes...I fought technology and technology won.
I might have taken this all in stride, but this adventure came after I tried to add my Monster Name results to a post. It completely took over and that explains why it is a stand alone post. I thought it would be a fun Halloween thing...especially since it says that I like to torture Bristish people. Oh how I love the irony!!!
The revelation of course led me to want to watch some good ol' Brit drama, which explains Master and Commander. I also watched Gosford Park, although I must admit that I only watched the parts with Clive Owen or Maggie Smith in them. Man do the Brits have it going on...how I love pretentiousness!!

Who would've thought...it figures

Your Monster Profile

Infamous Chemist You Feast On: Power Bars You Lurk Around In: Las Vegas You Especially Like to Torment: British People

What's Your Monster Name?

Man I ended up with pockets full of dust...

So I kinda got guilted into going to a History Science Theatre night last night. Since I was one of the people who originally thought of the idea, I thought "What the heck!" The movie line up consisted of along with Monty Python and the Holy Grail along with King Arthur. Now, as some of you might not know - with me being the anglophile that I am - I don't really care for Monty Python in any of its forms and if I had to pick one...it would be Life of Brian. I must add, however, that I absolutely love most of the work of the members as individuals and own Faulty Towers and A Fish Called Wanda. Anyhoo...I have to say that it the turn out was quite good and it was extremely fun to watch the film with a group of history grad student.
Unfortunately, I can not say the same for King Arthur. I definitely understand that this film is not for everyone, but as a student of history...you gotta get a good laugh out of any "historical" movie that begins with the words "Historians agree..." Classic! Besides, it is such a great eye candy movie...oh how I love you Clive Owen and Hugh Dancy - I shall not include Ioan Gruffudd on my list since I could get in trouble!! And you have to appreciate the fact that the love triangle between Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot focuses on Guinevere breaking up Arthur and Lancelot instead of a secret affair between Guinevere and Lancelot. Besides all this, the most stable relationships in the movie are between Gawain and Galahad - who have some of the best longing looks in the film - and a guy with like 6 bastards that he hasn't even named! But no one seemed to understand this! I was alone in liking the film - which didn't surprise me - but no one else seemed to get why it was brillant in its awfulness! Besides if nothing esle I got a good hypothetical pet name out of it.

We're after the same rainbow's end

Tonight I went to see Elizabethtown again. Yes...I am one of the few people in America that loves this movie. I don't understand why it is getting panned and ignored like it is. I mean, essentially it is pretty much like Garden State, which I will argue was better, but Etown has an innocence about it. Garden State, for the most part, remained dark and dysfunctional in many ways, where this movie has a lightness to it. And who can forget the music. It is a Cameron Crowe project for goodness sakes. The man finds a good old-school Elton John song to use as a pinnacle and then creates an awesome soundtrack. I really just don't get it...I love this movie and I don't even really like Mr. Bloom!! Ah well...
My Christmas present from H came today. The coolest messanger bag in the world. I am so enamoured, although, I am not sure what one of the zippers is for. The top of the flap zips open, but isn't a pocket or anything. I am stumped, although, I was advised to think like a man. I thought this brillant until I realized that I don't know how to do that. Perhaps I can track down a man tomorrow and ask. What a pick up line, huh?!?!?!

Well I know, I miss more than hit...

So I read this quote on the internet, while at work I might add, that talked about Shakespearean references in Disney's The Lion King. This got me thinking...The Lion King is actually Hamlet. Think about it...pretty boy prince...father killed by uncle...two friends accompany the son home...son seeks revenge and kills a lot of people...it's HAMLET!! Crazy isn't it.
On another note, my friend S and I have decided that as far as we are concerned October 27 didn't exist. Both of us got reprimanded for some reason at work. Therefore, in our world...October 27, 2005 never existed. Period.
Last note before I go I have been thinking about this at work quite a lot and discussed the idea with a friend...inspired by a book idea by another friend. Here goes...Pig Mermaids in Space...just think Miss Piggie in a mermaid costume. I mean the franchise could start out with Pig Mermaids in Space: The Curse of the Frog Prince and could easily include Kermit and the whole gang. It could work...I'm telling you!

Inhaling thrills through $20 bills...

I am sick of the fact that none of my friends watch Veronica Mars. Is it too much to ask that my loyal friends follow me on some of my obsessions? I am not expecting someone to go as crazy as I do, but I need someone to talk about the show to that is not a faceless screen name is cyberspace. I need real people to discuss and debate my crazy theories with and conjectures for the future. Even when times were tough with Buffy I still had my parents to bore. I don't even have that now. And even if I do bore C, H or S with my thoughts, I get no feedback since everything they know about the show is what I have told them. It is getting ridiculous. I must convert someone soon or I will simply go insane...if I am not already that is.
I have work tomorrow and I really don't want to go. Although, it will be nice to listen to my ipod all day, however, I do tend to waste time and then feel guilty about it. I guess we all have our crosses to bear!

P.S. For those of you who know the story...I have finally removed the plastic wrap enclosing Battlestar Galactica. I refuse to feel dirty (well at least with 1 r...I'm not sure about 2).

Now we've got something to prove...

Lunch with grad school buddies can go 1 of two ways. Either you get into some deep philospohical debate on how Derrida relates to current archival theory and other such nonsense that really does no good in the world or it turns into a cynical and bitter bitching fest over the hell that is grad school and commiserate with one another. Personally, I usually prefer the second and fortunately that was my lunch at On Rice...out Thai restraunt of choice and ritual meeting place. In the years I have known J, we have only eaten somewhere else once. As my loyal readers might have already known or figured out, I am a creature of habit and therefore, this is the way I like it...no surprises...
Although I am still in a passionate, torrid affair with Postal Service at the moment, this talk of grad school has made me think of this song I am currently loving. The song, called "On Your Porch", by a group called The Format really articulates my current state of mind. Here goes...

"I've done enough
and if i fail well then i fail but i gave it a shot
and these last three years, i know theyve been hard
but now its time to get out of the desert and into the sun even if its alone"

I really love another line of the song, the singer's father comments "you've done enough and if you fail well then you fail but not to us..." Reminds me of my parents in a gushy kind of way...bless 'em. Well enough mush. In my current emotional state this could lead to crying and lord knows no one wants that!

P.S. I thought I should include a cartoon that has helped me overcome some of my bitterness and/or mush...I woudn't want it all to go away, but cartoons like this helps to control some of the emotion and rage - kinda like alcohol, but cheaper and doesn't end up with vomit...normally. Enjoy! School is Hell: Lesson 19 - Some People Never Learn

And I kissed you in a style that Clark Gable would have admired - I thought it classic

So funny thing...I order a P & P poster on ebay, which arrived by UPS this afternoon and turned out to be 4 X 6 feet. I'm not kidding here...just look at the photo. In my defense, the description of the item only said "large poster", so I had no idea that by "large" they meant that the poster could double as wallpaper. I really think that should be indicated. The poster is also made out of a vinyl material that at the moment is off-gasing something fierce. I am now thinking that it wasn't such a good idea to hang it in my room. Could poison me in my sleep. Or who knows...maybe it will knock me out for a while.
In other pathetic news, I went and saw Doom for the second time this evening. And before you wonder to yourself, it was my idea to go...I wasn't just tagging along with another friend or something. I think that this is really an indication of the sad state of affairs in my life. A good day consists of watching a film version of a video game I have never played or even seen in my life and getting a gigantic poster in the mail. Well, that and I got to describe someone as an "obligatory psychotic jackass" - one of my fav lines of VM of course- which always makes my day. Oh and I got Battlestar Galactica on DVD, which brings it all together...well maybe not, but I can at least try to convince myself of that fact. Here goes...

You snooze, you lose...Well I have snost and lost

Well, I have found myself in the middle of one of my obssessive moods and for those of you sick of hearing about Veronica Mars you will be happy to know that it has nothing to do with that brillant program. No...Doom has once again got me interested in Karl Urban. I think I would have hit this phase last summer if I hadn't been without internet in Ashland. The Bourne Supremacy did him a lot more justice, but unfortunately, it is only recently that I went searching again into his past films and features. What I found was absolutely golden. Not only do I have connections to the Xena world at the moment so I can get my hands on some of this footage, but I also might be able to find a great New Zealand film that has one of the greatest taglines ever!!!
(I should probably note that the film is called The Price of Milk.) Here goes: "A man, a woman, and 117 cows." Perhaps I have a thing for cows since I got such a kick out of that album name a couple of days ago, but this one is priceless. Hopefully I can get my hands on the film. At least I can watch Xena no matter what...thanks S! Apparently he has played 4 roles on the show including Caesar and Cupid...see now the pic makes sense. I know you were wondering about it! Anyway, perhaps this will get me out of my Veronica Mars obsession (I should warn that I honestly don't think it will, but thought I would tease anyway).
Speaking of Veronica Mars, I think I have the soundtrack memorized and I have started a playlist of all of the other songs that have been used on the show that I already own. I was somewhat horrified to learn that I did indeed have "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls, but when you think about it...that is the least of my problems. For once I am in a good mood and nothing is going to bring me down...yet!

You seem so out of context in this gaudy apartment complex

I fall in love with bands. I make no apologies for my promiscuity on that front. I have long believed that relationships with music have their own life in many respects and often resemble a love life of sorts. For example...when looking at my music history, Dave Matthews Band would be my first love. I was obssessive for many years, but the chemistry just couldn't last a lifetime. I still listen to their music from time to time and think fondly of our time together, but in the end, the passion died. However, I see U2 as my devoted partner that I can keep coming home to - kinda like what I imagine a husband is like...a really forgiving husband. Now I might have affairs on the side with Los Lonely Boys or Damien Rice (this one is turning out to be quite the tryst) but still, in the end, I return home to Bono, the Edge, Larry, and Adam.
I give you this premable, only to explain the presence of a new loverThe Postal Service. I first heard a cover of their song "Such Great Heights" by Iron & Wine on the Garden State album. I soon downloaded the original and slowly fell in love. I then discovered that another of my current favorite songs "We Will Become Silhouettes", although again I was familar with a cover of the song, this time by The Shins. Needless to say, I was curious...could this really be a band that I could love or did I only love their music when performed by someone else? The answer...a resounding NO. Give Up, the first album released by The Postal Service, is abso-fukcin-fabulous!!! And I am not only saying this because they are local boys...they are amazing and I hope they are around for years to come. I could look forward to a lifetime of mini break holidays!

I've got a cupboard with cans of food, filtered water, and pictures of you

Never thought - even in my widlest dreams - I would see the theatrical version of Doom, let alone like but...there you go. My friend, F, came to do some research at my place of work (well at least 2 days a week) and mentioned that she wanted to go and see a movie tonight and would call. Keep in mind that F often says these things and nothing comes of it. So imagine my shock when she actually did call. We ended up babysitting her two nephews, who ran around like crazy people with an energy that I envy, before catching the only movie playing within a 30 minute period of our arrival to the theatre. Hence how Doom got the vote and $6. I have never been one for video games and therefore had not real clue what was going to happen let alone that the theatre would be full of boys - sometimes actual teenagers, but most often middle aged men who acted like prepubescent boys and should have had something better to do then play video games or watch a movie based on them...but then again I was right there with them, so what does that mean I wonder. Wait...don't tell me!
Anyway, needless to say, I got hooked. I have never been a huge fan of the Rock, but he was amusing and had one of the best lines ever uttered by a film hero. And then there was the star as far as I am concerned...Karl Urban. The man who stole our hearts in LOTR and then made us love corrupt Russian policemen in leather jackets in The Bourne Supremacy. I mean any man that still looks good (and jumpable) after trying to kill Jason Bourne and getting bloodied in a car accident has my vote. I don't really care what he has done...he's just so pretty. So there you have it folks. I have actually given a movie based on a vidoe game a thumbs up. Who would have thunk it?

Sleeping with the television and all the lights on

At this point, I might as well change the name of my blog to something along the lines of..."101 reasons I love Veronica Mars!" or..."You know you are obsessed with Veronica Mars when..." All I seem to talk about is how much I despise WWU and grad school in general and this tv program. I haven't been this obsessed with a show since Buffy and as my loyal readers know...that pretty much ended in disappointment and tears; much like those over-the-top movie-of-the-week marriages that start out as such a romantic melding of souls, but devolve into a loveless partnership where one person - or both - drink too much while the other plays around with a neighborhood teenager. You know what I am talking about. But I digress...needless to say I can't get enough of this program. It makes my village happy and that is saying something. Although, I think many of my friends are starting to get sick of hearing about it.
I actually have worked out on the "cool" half of the student rec center two days in a row. Not really by choice. Unfortunately, the eliptical machines - the only exercise machine I have somewhat mastered in my 3 weeks of regualr gym attendance - were full on the faculty/not-so-work-out-bunny/beautiful-person side of the center. Ah well...I think what disturbs me more is not the fact that I actually survived, but that I am beginning to really enjoy watching Breaking Bonaduce on VH1. Go Figure!!
P.S. You have to love film noir posters...even if you don't like the film or genre in general. It is an unspoken law...like don't go swimming for a whole hour after eating or eating sugar will cure the hiccups. You just have to...

Wake up call, coffee and juice...

So two chicks on two different shows I watch, wore the same shirt tonight. Some green t-shirt with a rainbow and something written that I didn't think to read. Yes, once again my worlds combined. Who would have thought that Veronica Mars and Hayley (from One Tree Hill) would have the same fashion sense...or at least their dressers? Anyway, I thought that a bit strange.
On a similar note, last week's Veronica Mars, four of the cast members watched BBC Pride & Prejudice. However, the music wasn't right. I know this will reveal my sad state of obsession - on the brightside most of you already know this about me - but the music wasn't correct. I own the soundtrack...I have watched the miniseries more than I care to recall...I know P&P and that music was not correct. However, despite this fact, I do have to give the show credit. I mean not only is the show full of pop culture references that I love and Buffy alumni, but the show has actually had an entire conversation concerning Colin Firth and the role that is Mr. Darcy. I have never had a tv show that has discussed P&P, therefore I will let this go...this time at least!

We love the whorehoppin', that ain't no lie...

I had thought I had seen it all, but I was wrong. While procrastinating on my thesis - pretty much my only real goal in life at the moment - I have begun to start watching the soap General Hospital. I am not especially proud of this, but in the end, this is just one of many habits that I would rather not discuss. Anyway, the commercials during soaps is not like anything else. As you would guess, household products and department stores ads dominate, but there is also quite a bit of time devoted to children shows - usually on ice, although you still can't convince me that Finding Nemo should ever have been made into an "on ice" show - as well as acts that appeal to lonely middle age women bored at home. Now I understand all of this, but I was still floored as in complete shock and horror watched clips from the new Michael Flatley show ridiculuously named "Celtic Tiger". I will freely admit that I enjoyed - and still do on some level - "Riverdance", but Flatley's subsequent shows have begun to scare the crap out of me. Who goes to these things anymore? The man looks frightening and for any of you who have seen this ad...what is up with the red, white, and blue squence outfits have to do with anything "celtic"?
I have fallen in love with a song by Eagles of Death Metal called "Whorehoppin'". I can't really explain the appeal, except that it is H's - one of my bext friends - drunk anthems. If you knew H, you would see the great irony that - first - she even has a drunk anthem and - second - this anthem actually includes the words "whorehoppin'" and the phrase "sh*t goddamn, I'm a man". In a similarly funny situation...L - another friend - sent me a DVD, homemade, entitled "Diana, Princess of Wales" which includes her wedding to HRH The Prince of Wales as well as her funeral. It might make me a bad person, but you just have to laugh...not out loud of course, but to yourself.

Something Wicked This Way Comes

Every once in a while, a momentus event comes along that makes me believe that the hight power in this world may actually attempting to make my village happy and not simply conduction experiments to determine the extent to which I can create my own 'happy thoughts' using books, music, tv, or films. Yes, my dear readers, I have a ticket to the midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. In one months time, I will sitting in a theatre watching my favorite Harry Pothead directed by the man who gave the world Four Weddings and a Funeral. It doesn't get any better than that...well maybe but at least this is legal and doesn't require permits.
Last week, while driving to the gym, I saw one of the bumper stickers I loathe on the car in front of me..."Live Simply So Others May Simply Live." I have always found this a bit preachy and patronistic (is that even a word?). However, what caused me to laugh hysterically was the bumper on which this sticker adhered...a bumper of a brand new Beamer. Yes, one of the annoyingly rich 18 year olds on campus actually had the gall to drive around town not only annoying me with their brand new car, which I assume they are not makeing payments for. Of course I could be completely wrong...perhaps the blonde bimbo was only borrowing the car, but hey my analysis is way better.
One last random thing...my good friend B, my loyal One Tree Hill co-watcher, has recently been writing poetry on my refridgerate. I thought I would share some of her work now. Personally, I find it rather amusing...even if it is a bit naughty.

lather the hot goddess
and lick my luscious apparatus

I never promised you a rose garden...

So, in an unfortunate development, I found myself spending a good portion of today looking for babysitting and dog walking gigs off the internet. Somehow at the age of 24 (and after 4 year of uni and 2 years of grad school), I have the same occupational qualifications of a 13 year old. It would be quite funny if it wasn't so sad. I am not sure how I got here, but I don't think that I really want to know. I must simply live in the now. Or at least try to.
To combat the depression of the job search (for both archives positions and child care), I started reading How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire. I mocked the book a couple of months ago on the phone with a friend (as some of you know - since you have gotten the calls - I like going to Walmart or Target and reading the backs of the trashy novels to friends over the phone mocking as I read...hey everyone needs a hobby and this one is one of my more healthy ones) only to have a her send a copy to me as a joke. Today I actually started the book...and I honestly don't know if this unusal action on my part (reading contemporary crap novel is unusual, but a paranormal one...that is downright inconcievable!) is the result of my current hormonal state or the fact that my mind keeps regressing more and more each day. One day soon I am going to wake up and find that all that I can handle in life is sitting in my apartment watching Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and eating otter pops. Actually now that I think about it...that sounds like a pretty sweet deal.

From this day on I own my father's gun

I have fallen in love with Elizabethtown despite Orlando Bloom . Now, I did go into the film with some apprehension. As much as I love other Cameron Crowe films, I also loathe some of his other works. I don't see how anyone couldn't like Say Anything or Almost Famous, but I absolutely loathe Vanilla Sky and Jerry Maguire; please whatever you do, don't show me the money. Anyway, I also felt a bit concerned about the subject matter since the previews made it seem like it was a take off of Garden State - one of my top 10 movies of all time. I don't want to ruin the plot for anyone, but I absolutely loved the content and the message. Where Garden State remains dark and dysfunctional, Elizabethtown has a sweet innocence to it. Themes of suicide and death are featured heavily, but fo some reason the movie doesn't get dogged down by them or too angry. And I like what the film seems to say about failure. So very refreshing and relevant to anyone and everyone...even if you haven't lost nearly $1 billion for a shoe company. Although I think that if I was fortunate enough to work for a shoe company I wou'd do my best not to lose money. I love shoes too much. I really am a shoe whore!
And as with most Crowe films, the music was the most amazing aspect of the film. Somehow his soundtracks often constitute a religious experience and Elizabethtown is no exception. I even convinced the friend I went to see the film with, B, to buy the soundtrack so I could burn it. Oh how I love my friends with disposable income. Anyway...I leave you loyal readers with this quote from the film..."Okay. Just dial HELL and I'll answer!" Funny stuff, man, funny stuff.

It's been the worst day since yesterday...

So tonight after retrieving Season 1 of Veronica Mars, I got proof resounding proof that I am a horrible person. UPS doesn't seem to realize that most people are not usually at home during the day and if people are not home one day...what makes UPS think that you will be there the next day. But I digress...I decided to stop at Taco Bell to get a soda to go with my soup at home. Well as I pulled up to the window to retrieve my drink...I noticed that the car behind me had stalled...and I started laughing. See, the proof is finally here; I am a a horrible person and I laugh at old people stranded in a drive thru.
I finally got the OK to hang posters in the dungeon I work. Not only do I blast musicals the entire time, but now I can stare at a wall with not only Shakespeare quotes on it, but also Orlando Bloom holding an urn. Doesn't get better than that folks. Well that and the fact that we live in a world in which CNN feels the call to do PSAs explaing verbs and nouns and how to use them. As Rufus Wainwright sings..."Oh! What a world we live in."

I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now...

Meanwhile, my list of fun hetero-life partners list is growing. I think that Denny and Alan from Boston Legal are my new number 2 couple. I mean, Kevin Smith's Jay and Silent Bob will always reign as the golden couple, but timeas are changing. I really can't explain how I choose these couples. They are not always buddy buddy types. And there are some rules. They must be of the same species. Therefore, Wallace and Gromit do not qualify, but Gus and Jaq - the mice from the 1950s Cinderella - do. My number 3 couple remains Captain Aubrey and Dr. Stephen Maturin from Master & Commander, although they are starting to feel the heat from The O.C.'s Seth and Ryan. Other hetero-life partners include King Arthur and Lancelot, Harry and Ron - of course! - Legolas and Gimli and on some occasions Aragorn, Roy O'Bannion and Chon Wang, Shrek and Donkey, and the kings of the hetero-ménage a trois...David St. Hubbins, Nigel Tufnel, and Derek Smalls. Of course there are many more, I just needed to rearrange mine at the moment. For some reason it is vitally important!! Go Figure!!
Other than that, life keeps rolling a long...for better or worse. I am beginning to wonder if the whole procrastinating on the thesis was a good plan. Perhaps I should rethink this one. I guess I'll do that tomorrow. Why put off today what you can put off tomorrow.

See chameleon lying there in the sun...

So it has recently been brought to my attention that in some of the new Cinderella DVDs there is a limited edition glass slipper necklace. I would have gotten to this earlier, but I felt that the world needed to hear my rants on important trashy historical romance novel topics. A discussion of the overuse of certain names and horrendous titles needs to be addressed...and not just by C and I. Well back to the necklace. At first I was shocked to learn that I had been deprived of my necklace. Cinderella is my favorite of the older Disney movies. My best friend in elementary school had the film on beta and I used to make her watch it at least 3 times everytime I cam over. I mean who couldn't love a movie with mice named Jacque and Gus who wear clothes and cute little hats. The good news it that K (my friend who called me excitedly about the necklace only to find out that I did not have one) is willing to donate hers to my car Ophelia. So in the end...everyone wins, but most importantly me!!!
I'm beginning to think that I will never be a 'real-live' grown up. Everytime I think I might make it, something happens. Today, unfortunately, I realized that once again my parents will be bailing me out. I had thought that the money I had to borrow from them earlier would be enough, but I was wrong...oh so very wrong. It just feels so lousy. Don't get me wrong, I understand how lucky I am to have parents as supportive as mine, but I just want to be self-sufficient in financial matters. What makes it all worse is I seem to be in a holding pattern that I am not sure how to get out of. As Freddie Mercury used to sing "I want to break free", but I am just not sure from what. Oh well, at least I have the wisdom of Garden State to fall back on...

"You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day and gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is...a group of people who miss the same imaginary place."

We're all just dancers on the Devil's Dance Floor...

As I promised yesterday...today I will rant on the overuse of the word "devil" in both the title and and names/nicknames of characters within historical romance novels. I don't really read anything contemporary so I honestly don't know if that is a problem in those novels as well I think what annoys me the most is the "clever" way authors think they are making their demonic references. I understand that every girl fantasizes that her womanly wiles will change a bad boys (who of course was already good at heart, simply misunderstood by everyone else), but do we blatantly need the reference. I have had my fill of Damiens and Luciens...not to mention those that simply have the nickname devil or lucifer. On a similar note, I also have to protest the excess of the names Duncan and Alec. Apparently everyone in the highlands has the name Duncan. Makes it convient I guess and at least I know how to pronounce it.. far batter than Alleyne. Who knows what that one is supposed to be.
On a completely different nore, I have read the most amusing review on Amazon.com ever written. Crossroads of Twilight remains one of the most painful books I have ever read; apparently it was even worse for W. Larson of Pennsylvania. He begins with an amusing bit on senilty and then goes on to discuss a bit about other bad books he has read, before then describing the pain that was the 10th book of the Wheel of Time series. Here I quote...

"If you haven't read it, but feel you must, find a willing and desperate third world peasant to outsource the job to - don't worry if he can't read English, as I'm not sure Mr. Jordan is writing in English anymore. Contact the now insane, babbling unfortunate at whatever asylum or holding cell he has been confined to, and get his summary of the novel. Or perhaps your hireling is now the village shaman, haven taken to insane gibbering, fits of palsy, and random bouts of self-mutilation. I can foresee a new religion spreading across the Far East, as gibbering lunatics, clutching their holy hardcover talisman, the Crossroads of Twilight tightly to their chests, march erratically through barren wastelands. While smoothing their robes. And drinking Spiced Wine. And telling Sparky their talking, invisible cow just how that imaginary wine tasted. "
See full transcript here.

There is more including a bit about ebay and a comment about an assclown, but I hate to give it all away. As mastercard would say...Hardcover copy of book: $19.77 on Amazon.com; paperback copy of same book: $7.99; 1 amazingly, fabulously funny review of the horrible book: PRICELESS!!

Caledonia has been everything I've ever had...

Recently, my exiled best friend - which from now on will be refered to as C - and I had a good laugh over the despicable names of trashy crap novels. Well the titles and the horrid names of the characters. I have some that have really special names. For example...exhibit A (the photo to he left)...I mean who title's their book Devil in a Kilt. Even I didn't really want to read this one and as any of my friends will tell you, I will read anything that has 'kilt' in the title or shows a well sculpted Scotsman on the cover. It is kinda sad...I am really that shallow and easy to please. (If only I could find a real life one!!) However, regency books are no better. I give you The Dutiful Rake, The Unlruly Chaperon, His Lady Mistress, One Little Sin, The Devil You Know, Devil's Bride, The Virtuous Knight, Wedding for a Knight, and The Devil to Pay. Perhaps I will later discuss my passionate hatred of "devil" in titles. Right now the agony is too raw for words.
Now I understand that the authors normally don't get to name their books, so the blame for the horrible titles often doesn't rest on their soldiers. But half the time I don't understand where they come up with the names. I mean some of the names these authors come up with are insane. Who names a female character Jacquetta DeNevers, Jonet, or Eada. Unfortunately, these three are only a drop in the bucket. The men's names are often worse. I give you Hacon, Drogo, Connall, and Cathal. And the over use of twins in some of these novels is not helped by naming Lucien and the other Damien. Why would anyone want twin devil sons. We won't even go into their last names. It is just all a bit too painful. To add insult to injury I don't even know how to pronounce some of these. I am a grad student for goodness sake...I should at least be able to pronounce names in romance novels.
There are a few exceptions to this rule, namely the Slightly series by Mary Balogh. Her Bedwyn clan all have bizarre names including Wulfric, Rannalf, Alleyne (who a friend and I simply call 'Big Al'), and Freyja. However, Balogh explains the excentric nature of the names and makes fun of it a bit. Gotta respect that one. Stay tuned for tomorrow's discussion of the over use of the name Duncan and Alec. Should be a doosie!!

I only wanted to help it see straight...

So I think I have found the best name album winner of this year. I have only recently discovered this guy from Alberta, but he does have a way with the naming if albums. Plus his band's name is the Hurtin Albertans. Gotta love it!! Ok...drumroll please...the title of the winning album title (if you haven't already made it out from the pic) "Hair In My Eyes Like a Highland Steer". Just perfect really. I mean their last album "Unforgiving Mistress" should get a mention - even if it sounds like the title of a trashy romance novel! I just get the biggest kick out of the album title; such imagery!
In other musical news, I have finalized my October ELFI mix. I think this one really reflects the idea of a last chance and making it through. I can't really explain why, but feel free - those of you who listen to these mixes - to chime in with your thoughts. The tracks are as follows:
1. Mr. Mastodon Farm - Cake
(This song remains 'symbolic of my entire existence' in many different ways...well at least since HS)
2. Smoke It - Dandy Warhols
(Just love the energy)
3. Two Hearts Beat as One - U2
(The chorus ' I can't stop the dance/Maybe this is my last chance' somehow resenates')
4. Bohemian Like You - Dandy Warhols
(Who doesn't like the Dandy Warhols...come on be honest!!)
5. Inside Out - Feist
(First heard this song on my Canadian radio station, but I love the old school quality of it)
6. Love Will Come Through - Travis
(Sometimes you just have to believe!)
7. Who Will Save Your Soul - Jewel
(The song playing on the radio when I learned that my father had had a heart attack and needed open heart surgery. Thank God I was in the car with a good friend!)
8. Dice - Finley Quaye & William Orbit
(Catchy song that I can't get out of my head)
9. Untitled - Simple Plan
(In some way, I too just want to scream at times...but that is just life)
10. Virgin State of Mind - K's Choice
(I've been listening to this song for years; still working on the meaning though)
11. Cross-Eyed Bear - Damien Rice
(I love Damien Rice with a passion that rivals the heat of the sun. Enough said!!)
12. Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own (Alternate Version)
(Although the new album is not as strong as others, I relate to this song. To often I forget that there are people out there that I can turn to)
13. One Song Glory - Rent
(My fav song from Rent...it can relate to anything really that you strive to accomplish)
14. Who's Gonna Know - Kathy Mattea
(This song strikes a chord with me and always makes me cry; sometimes a song can hit too close to home)
15. Return to Me - Matthew Ryan
(Catchy song)
16. Ring of Fire - Johnny Cash
(Gotta love the Cash - especially with the new movie coming out Nov 18)
17. The Sound of Settling - Death Cab for Cutie
(Spent the whole summer thinking that the chorus was "this is the sound of summer rain"...the actual title makes more sense of course)
18. Just Like Heaven - The Cure
(Gotta love a song that begins with "Show me, show me, show me...")
19. You Can't Always Get What You Want - The Rolling Stones
(Good, sound advice really even if all of them have taken drugs for years!)
20. October - U2
(Although the song is quite ominous in a way, it is simply one of the most beautiful melodies.)

I put a spell on you because your mine...

Ok...so I was actually trying to find an image of Cascade dishwasher detergent, but instead found this picture and in the end couldn't resist!!! I especially love the quote on the bottom. It reminds me of my uncles response whenever someone asks who is going to do the dishes after a family gathering. He always volunteers and then asks where the garbage bags are located. However, I digress. I opened up my new box of Cascade today and noticed that the box advertised a website. This got me thinking...who actually looks up info on the web concerning diswasher soap. So, I decided to look at what other household products have websites. Unfortunately, my Kraft Mac & Cheese (which I could understand why they would advertise a website) only had a phone number, but all of my different cleaning products offered websites. Seems bizarre to me, but perhaps someone is bored enough to look at the sites. In the end this makes me feel better since I am not that bored. Well at least not yet.
I got to watch Wallace & Gromit yesterday. What a fun movie. I was worried that since the title included a reference to a were-rabbit that the story was going to be a rip off of James Howe's 90s classic Bunnicula, but the film was completely original. What great fun...and you have to love any film in which a character actually yells "Get your angry mob supplies here!" and another readily particpates in "harmless brain alteration". Got to love a silent dog!!

I Don't Own Emotion - I Rent

I keep falling deeper and deeper in love with this musical. Not that this is highly unusual for me...I tend to obsess. But how could you not...even if you don't like the eye candy - even if there is someone for everyone - the music is actually quite good. However, what gets me about Rent is the emotion. It understands it place and embraces both the good and bad of humanity. I like grey areas. Far more interesting. And who could resist a musical that can discuss materialism in America, AIDS, and second chances without over doing the signaled!!! There is a connection to the subject matter and the people involved that you miss in other musicals. In truth, Rent is one of the only 'higher brow' musicals I love, although I do really dislike most Andrew Lloyd Webber, so I do have that in my favor. If only Michael Ball had done more than just Les Mis and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang!!
Finally finished Harry Pothead. Well in my defense it only took me 2 days, but since I have owned the books since midnight opening day back in July it does seem like a long time coming. I am still sticking to my Gandalf theory. I just can't choose to believe that Snape was able to trick Dumbledore like that. Just doesn't seem right. The Harry/Ginny thing was great and I like that Ron and Hermione finally resolved some of their emotional shit. 'Bout bloody time!!! However, book 6 didn't excite me like the others. I am looking forward to the last installment of course, but I am also a bit apprehensive. I have it in me to get through a Harry Pothead book without Dumbledore, but not sure I could handle that if there is also no Hogwarts!! We shall see...oh hey when did Harry save Arthur's life? For the life of me I can't remember and I don't have time at the moment to reread them all. I must move onto Gabaldon or Wheel of Time otherwise I will never catch up (not that it is a real possiblity, but a girl can dream...and for once not about hot Scottish guys or Wentworth Miller)!! However, as it always does it goes back to the wisdom of Trainspotting. Hey I can't explain why or how my mind wanders...at least it isn't about fish sex like some people I know!!!

"So why did I do it? I could offer a million answers - all false. The truth is that I'm a bad person. But, that's gonna change - I'm going to change. This is the last of that sort of thing. Now I'm cleaning up and I'm moving on, going straight and choosing life. I'm looking forward to it already. I'm gonna be just like you. The job, the family, the f*#king big television. The washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electric tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisure wear, luggage, three piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption clearing gutters, getting by, looking ahead, the day you die."

Pointless Nostalgia

So I have recently shared on of my secret, slightly shameful wonderings concerning Harry Potter and to my surprise, both people confessed to have wondered the same thing. Did Dumbledore and McGonagall have some hot steamy love affair in their past? They always seem to agree and show up places together. I know it seems a bit odd, but you do have to wonder. Dumbledore must have had it good in his younger days...especially since he has that twinkle in his eye. In other Harry Potter news, I am almost done with the Half Blood Prince. I would have finished it this evening, but I got a call from a friend and since the shorted conversation we have recently had was 2.5 hours, you can imagine why I still have a few hundred pages to go. I am convinced, however, that Dumbledore is going to pull a Gandalf and rise again in the seventh book. See I must believe this since I really can't imagine a whole Harry Potter book without him...just seems wrong.
Not much else going on in my little corner of the world. Work is going along, although I will be in charge tomorrow. Kinda scary, but it is nice to think that someone thinks I am qualified to be in charge, even if it is a short time. For once in my life I seem to be fending off a boy and wishing that I had a bit more time to myself at home. Who knew after the summer I had, that I would now be lamenting the fact that I am now weeing people on a regular basis. Perhaps this is the end of the world. I have also found myself reminiscing about the past with several different friends; England, uni, you get the idea. At first I thought it was helpful, but after talking to one friend in particular the other day, I am beginning to wonder if it is all pointless nostalgia. I mean memories can be good and it is swell to remember past times with an old friend, but I think there is a real danger in that; too much time spent pondering the greatness of a time already experienced can easily prevent one from looking to the future for possible new experiences and memory making moments.
Just so I end on a high note, I did recently fall in love with a line from the new P & P. I don't know about the new Mr. Darcy, but I will give it a shot. Despite the claims of other, there can never be too many P & P movies!! Now back to the quote. As only Ms. Elizabeth Bennet could explain..."Believe me, men are either eaten up with arrogance or stupidity." I do have to agree with her on that one...well at least for the moment!!!

So i'll just make this a little more obvious...

Recently, I was asked if I thought I would ever find a show to replace Buffy the Vampire Slayer. For those who may not know, Buffy has been an obsession of mine since 1997. At the the time I really didn't have an answer...my love of Buffy consisted of more than just the show itself. I could relate to it like no other show. High school sucked and the metaphor of that experience as hell really helped me through. However, a replacement might be on the horizon. Not in the same way of course, but I think I might be in love again. Veronica Mars is awesome. That is all I can really say is that every week is getting better. After the season long mystery last year, I was concerned whith what would happen the sophomore season...but I have been pleasantly surprised. It also does hurt that Buffy alumni keep popping up with Joss Whedon even making an appearance or the fact that Kevin Smith guest starred as a clerk...man do I love joke!!!
Meanwhile, a friend of mine got some interesting advice on how to avoid being accosted or raped. Instead of learning self defense, simply pick your nose. That way the assailant will be so grossed out he/she -- we do live in "politically correct" times -- will simply leave you alone. Perhaps this is sound advice, but it seems a bit odd. See for yourself!! http://www.muni.org/apd1/assault.cfm

And it's greatly to his credit that he is an Englishman!

Well, once again my grandparents have spoiled me more than I deserve. For those readers who may not know, my grandmother was the one who financed my first trip to Ireland, Scotland, and England. Of course I fell in love and spent another couple of years figuring out how to get back for a more extended visit...hence a uni exchange program. However I digress...for my recent birthday my grandparents not only sent an encouraging letter in which they tell me how proud they are of me and my accomplishments and remember that anything can be accomplished with small steps...one at a time. They also sent $75 in gift certificates to Barnes & Noble. I mean today was really one of the best days in my life. Not only can I afford the new Robert Jordan Wheel of Time book even if Costco doesn't carry it, but I also got to buy the new Diana Gabaldon novel. The last one left much to be desired, but still I want to know what happens. I already read the epilogue and it looks like Claire and Jamie didn't die so hopefully I will like this one enough to read the next.
I have also begun an inventory of my CDs. So far the prelim has come up with 298. Unfortunately, I have not really made it that far and so I know that the number will ony increase. It is somewhat frightening to realize that even at only $15 a CD that still comes to $4470. Coupled with my recent DVD inventory I really don't think I will try anything with my books. Besides if I keep this up the music/film industry might collapse. I am probably the only one still buying either and going to the movie theatres. Man am I a schmuck!!!

Holding out for a hero...

As with anything Heather Ledger stars in, with the exception of The Order, I am looking forward to Casanova. Who could resist Mr. Ledger as a dashing hero...I know I can't since I own too many of his films - and often bad ones at that - to try and argue that one. I mean, I even saw The Four Feathers opening day. I don't think many can claim that one. I remember it all vividly since a woman actually answered her cell phone during the film and carried on a 5 minute conversation. Under most circumstances this would have led me to loose my temper - an occurance that became imfamous while waiting in line with a good friend for The Two Tower - but with this incident it actually made the whole experience a bit more interesting. The movie was complete crap with the exception of one shot in the desert...not even Djimon Hounsou could save this one. Makes me laugh, though, to think that Kate Hudson gave up Spider-Man to do it. Funny as all get out. Back to Heath Ledger, though. The trailer for this film is great. Even if I was not in love with Mr. Ledger, I would go to this one. It is a special year when someone I like has 2 films coming out around the same time, but this year should be an exception. Between Casanova and Brokeback Mountain...it should be a fascinating year indeed!
Finally got around to my dishes. You know that you need to deal with the mess when you have actually used all of your pyrex and mixing bowls for cereal and there is literally nothing clean left. I wish I could say that this was the first time, but as too many people I know actually read this blog, I can't lie. Well at least I did get around to it. In other sad news, I finally updated my DVD inventory. The damage is as follows:
Series: 47
(That is the number of season, etc; since all are multi-disc who knows the exact figure!)
Specialty/Documentaries/Music: 19
(This section includes my U2 DVDs as well as SNL and a couple of documentaries!)
Films: 175
(Not going to even go there...)
I honestly did not realize I owned that many. Scary thought really...I mean if you approximate that each cost $15 - a lowball estimate for many of them - that comes to $2625. And in the end, that figure only accounts for the films alone. If you factor that most series begin around $40, there is at least another $1880 to account for. I may not have bought them all, but still I think I have bought enough...well at least until something else good comes out. I think I will start on my CDs next since I should really have an inventory. Then maybe books...then again no. Don't even want to consider that one. Oh the horror...the HORROR!!!

I'm alone but I ain't lonely...

I love this movie....I think I may be perhaps the only one, but still the affection is there. I found the movie because of a love for Christian Bale that began in 1992 with Newsies, a classic Disney movie in which a real historical event is made "happy" using both song and dance. Don't get me wrong, I love the movie, but I do understand what it is. Anyway, what sold me about the film was Gerard Butler and the dragons. I mean what is there not to love about a futuristic film in which dragons living under London. That is pretty darn cool if you ask me. At this point, some of you might be wondering why I mention all of this. Well here it is...I have finally met 2 other people who have not only seen this film, but also liked it. It truly is a good day in my life even if I turned 24 years old today. Time sure flies whether or not you are having fun it seems.
Onto more important news. I actually now know how it feels to be the dog that is taken on vacation to the Grand Canyon and then left there. I, however, seem to be the pesky one that also figures out the way home across 6 different states, but still it is there. I am not quite sure I think it is a good thing that I can still be hurt by that. I was supposed to go out with friends today and see a movie. For that reason, even though it was by b-day I really didn't make plans thinking they would call...but they didn't. Sure I understand that things come up, but if you don't want me to come along...just say it. I really wish it hadn't hurt so much, but at least that means that I am still human...there is something to cling to.
Well, I should be getting to bed. But before I go, I offer this advice. When conducting e-mail correspondence (or really any other kind of contact) with a blind date...never close off the e-mail by writing "See you later unless you voted for Nader". I don't care if it does rhyme; in the end it is just a bit too weird and kinda off.