We're living in delicious sin...

Of course, I also love the literary ones in my trashy romance novels!

Too many options may kill a (wo)man!

I'm beginning to come to this conclusion as well...

These boots were made for walking...

Because I really am a Shoe Whore...

I'm sorry, so sorry...please accept my apology

I haven't been the best blogger lately, although I do have a great excuse...I've been busy! You see...isn't that the best excuse ever. Anyway, to make up for my lack of posts, which I am sure has hurt all my readers at a very emotional level, I have decided to make it all better using postcards. I mean...who doesn't like postcards. So, I present a week of amusing and highly sarcastic postcards!!!

We're gonna score one more than you...ENGLAND!

It was an ugly win...but a win nonetheless. And alas much to my disappointment, Beckham didn't run without his shirt on after his free kick goal. But back to the game...hopefully England gets it together before facing Porugal at the end of the week. If not for a stunning and miraculous save by Ashley Cole - if you haven't seen his deflection of the near guaranteed Tenorio goal...find it somewhere on the internet...it's pure magic - and David Beckham's beauty of a free kick. No one bends it like Beckham...no one!!
I don't mean to kick a gift horse in the mouth, but I can't figure out how England keeps winning. Sure I love them - I even have a tape copy of every World Cup game in case they actually pull this all off - but they aren't playing good football...to be honest not even mediocre football. I mean if they keep winning playing this badly, just think what they could do if they actually got it together and gave Rooney - or anyone else for that matter since I am infatuated by the Crouch Robot Goal Dance - and actually won a game decisively. Oh...a girl can dream you know!! But who would have ever thought that one of my dreams would be shared by a bunch of drunk, middle-aged men! You have to wonder about my dreams...

Because I Got High...

I’m not one to become teary-eyed over some ‘inspirational’ story. Sure I’ll weep uncontrollably at some Hallmark Hall of Fame tv movie or a Lifetime show, but you have to draw the line somewhere. All that said…today I got emotional over an ‘inspirational’ story; luckily it was written by Kevin Smith and included a whole lot of cursing just plain vulgarity (I’m not sure if that is a word or not, but I’m using it!!)
Some of you know of my love of Kevin Smith flicks…even Jersey Girl. Since Smith usually casts mostly unknowns sprinkled with heavy hitters, I never really paid any attention to the actors. It isn’t that I don’t love the guys who play Dante and Randal, I just don’t really want to think of them as ‘real’ people. They same goes for Jay & Silent Bob – the original hetero-life partners. I heard rumors concerning Jason Mewes’s (Jay) drug addictions, but never put a whole lot of thought into it.
Recently I heard that one of the reasons Smith decided to make Clerks II, stemmed from a promise made to Jason Mewes. If Mewes could make it through rehab and stay sober, Smith would make the film. I thought “How sweet…he must really care about the guy!”, but that was about it. Lurking on a message board – I don’t usually participate, I just simply lurk – I kept reading various versions of the basic story until today I happened to discover that Smith had written a 9 part article detailing not only Mewes's addiction and how that affected both their friendship and different films over on his blog, My Boring-Ass Life. (If you don't read this blog on a daily basis...START NOW!!!) Anyway, the article entitled Me and My Shadow is an interesting read that I encourage everyone to check out. I have never personally dealt with drug addiction, but I understand alcoholism first hand. I should warn that the sucker is long, but once you get going, the time just flies by. All said, my respect for Kevin Smith has grown exponentially as well as my love of Jay & Silent Bob!! Snootchie Bootchies!!

Of Garryowen in glory!

Despite the photogenic and ‘studly’ qualities of modern Hollywood stars, nobody embodies irresistible manliness like Errol Flynn. Sure, he has a funny name and a destructive personality, not to mention he died in 1959, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t one damn fine looking man. The current leading me of Hollywood, especially Orland Bloom and those of his effeminate-but-I-can-swordfight-somewhat-convincingly ilk, should really study him in a seminar or something. Perhaps at a mandatory 'Intro to How a Male Lead Should Act in Action/Swashbuckling Film's. I can see it now...perhaps offered in a series with such other courses as "Wooing with Humor & Style: Cary Grant & Romance" or "Musical Comedy for Adults & Children: The Genius of Julie Andrews". You get the gist...
Some of you might be wondering why I bring this up…of course most of you gave up trying to understand my patterns of thought years ago! Anyway, I watched the 1941 classic They Died With Their Boots On last night. The film is actually the last collaboration between Flynn and Olivia de Havilland and also features a young Anthony Quinn as Crazy Horse. I never thought I would claim to love a film about Custer, but it has happened. If you haven’t seen the flick, I recommend it. But first a few disclaimers before I start getting angry e-mails...Keep in mind, the film is not trying to be historically accurate at all, although it does present an interesting interpretation of Custer’s life from the perspective of his adoring widow. And if that wasn’t enough…apparently 2 stuntmen died during production; one fell onto his sword while the other just fell off his horse while drunk. If that doesn’t arose curiosity, I don’t know what can!!

Knit one, Pearl one, Drop one, Curl one

I have no nails left…not that I started with long ones or that the game deserved an on-the-edge-of-your-seat type attention. Over the last week or so, I have come to the realization that reading an online commentary of the game is actually worse than watching the game…far worse. My computer wouldn’t refresh fast enough and the comments only come every couple of minutes. To be honest, I think I might go insane…or more than normal. At least the next game (against Ecuador and not Germany, thank the saints), takes place on Sunday and so I should be able to watch! Hopefully, Ecuador is still reeling from their 3-0 loss to Germany and therefore will come into the match with low self-confidence. Hey a girl can dream – and not just about a semi-nude David Beckham!!
On a completely unrelated note, I had some fairly odd phone calls today. Near the end of one, after inquiring my name, actually exclaimed “But you’re a woman!” Most people wonder about my name, but most show a bit more tact in asking how I came by it. I haven’t received such a undiplomatic outburst in quite a while…and it didn’t stop then. He went on to inquire what my husband called me…talk about blunt! Luckily, I was able to contain my laughter until after I hung up the phone!

When the moon is in the Seventh House...

To be quite honest, I am surprised my mind is still working well enought to post this blog. My morning began very early and involved extreme amounts of stress. One of the groups I work for had their Legislative Breakfast this morning, which meant I arrived at the Sutter Club at 6am. I'm not kidding...6 in the bloody morning!!
Anyway, after the breakfast, the organization had a board meeting, in which I had to take minutes. Normally, the person taking the minutes at least knows the individuals on the board not to mention a backgound knowledge of the topic...that makes it convient since I walked into a meeting of 25 people only knowing 4 of the faces and little to nothing about agricultural politics and co-ops. People first and second motions way to quickly...I'll tell you that!!
Anyway, I finally got back to the office and got one of the most ridiculous horoscopes. Of course, most horoscopes are amusing, but I thought this was somewhat fitting:
"Whatever common sense you had is temporarily gone. You may feel like you are out on your own with no guidance. All you have is your next whim, so don't try to suppress these powerful creations of your imaginative mind. However, this doesn't mean that you should act on every fantasy as if they were real."

Oh, I'll pawn you my gold watch and chain, love...

Today, while shopping for office supplies at Stapes, one of my bosses called to inquire if we needed shredder lubricant. Now, I don't give much thought to the shredder and even less to its lubrication needs. I understand the need, but I also found it hilarious. Luckily my boss did as well. That is actually why she called...she simply had to share the product with someone.
Honestly, that is all I have today. I'm sure I could come up with something witty, but I am just not in the mood. Originally, I planned a full movie review for today's entry. I went to A Prairie Home Companion last night and loved it. But alas...I just lack the energy to compose my thoughts. Perhaps they will come tomorrow, but I wouldn't count on it!!

Attend the tale of Sweeny Todd!

I’m in shock…awe-inspired shock at the announcement of the new Tim Burton/Johnny Depp production. Apparently, I prayed to the correct patron saint, ‘cuz the dark and twisted duo are going to film…wait for it…Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Yeah, baby!!!! And before you ask…it will be the musical…the bloody, bloody musical!!! Oh how I have waited for this day. I can hardly contain my glee, although I am left wondering who will play Mrs. Lovett and if Johnny Depp can sing. Oh, this could be the beginning of a wondrous Sondheim revival (or birth really) in the film industry. My only concern is who else is crazy enough to see it…other than me of course. Well, Kevin Smith, since he used the musical in Jersey Girl this must mean he loves the musical. I think I am in pretty good company!!
Meanwhile in vaguely related news, I have read a review of Clerks 2 that has given me some hope. (Of course, I won’t go in with too much anticipation since that is a recipe for disaster.) Anyway, the reviewer seemed to really enjoy the film. Although his point concerning why this project and why those of us who love Kevin Smith should give the film chance, really caught my interest.
"I know many people including myself wondered if Kevin had lost his nerve after Jersey Girl and just wanted to play in a pond where he knew the water and could avoid jumping any sharks. He seemed to be pretty happy about the production and the direction of the film based on interviews or items on his various websites and I cant knock the guy for returning to his roots…hell I’ve got how many versions of Star Wars? If George Lucas can rape your childhood then Kevin can play a secret touching game with my early twenties I suppose- he did promise candy if I got in the car- so away I went."
I gave all the Star Wars a chance…got to do the same for good ol’ Kevin!!

Three Lions on a shirt...

Well, the world sporting event I actually look forward to every 4 years, commenced this weekend. To be honest, this is really only the second time I have really paid attention, but still...I think that is still better than my Olympic (summer or winter) watching record. Of course, I still don't conform to US World Cup watching guidelines - if such guidelines exist, which I seriously doubt since barely anyone watches World Cup in America. I support England. Perhaps it is the fond memories of men staggering out of pubs at 8 in the morning drunk off their head or merely the infectuous exuberance of the fans. Despite the issue of holliganism - if that is indeed a word - I love the spirit and constant belief that this year will be England's chance to regain the glory of 1966.
So far, England remains pretty lucky. Sitting on top of Group B, although not looking extremely strong, hopefully they can hold onto that luck going into their Thursday game versus Trinidad-Tobago. I do have to say, that although I am thrilled that Beckham and the boys triumphed on Saturday, I do feel bad for Paraguay, especially Captain Carolos Gammara scored the own-goal that gave England the win. That one has to hurt...if it was me, I would think about relocating and never returning to Paraguay!!

Rollin' blunts and smokin'...

I LOVE Jay and Silent Bob!!! I just needed to get that off my chest. Anyway, I am not too sure about Clerks 2, since the first one is my least favorite Kevin Smith flick. I even liked Jersey Girl better, but I figure that has something to do with the reenactment of Sweeny Todd at the parent’s night. I don’t think I have ever laughed that hard at anything Sweeny Todd related. Come on...the subtitle of "The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" doesn't inspire much hilarity!
Anyway, check out the nifty poster. This is actually 1 of 3, but since these two rank number 1 among the numerous hetero-life-partners, I had to pick this one. You see...where Jay and Silent Bob lead, I must follow. Sometimes at a distance, but trail I must. Perhaps, though, I will pursue the flick at DVD price instead of $10 admission price…we shall have to wait and see!!

but I can't help falling in love with you...

I hate Thursdays. You are so close to the weekend and yet you still have to make it through one more whole day. Anyway, I am currently in the middle of one of the most boring tasks: stuffing envelopes. Normally, the job goes quickly, but unfortunately, with these renewal notices, I can’t use the paper folding machine. For some reason, none of the address boxes line up and so I am forced to fold each individual renewal notice by hand. Keep in mind there are a couple hundred for each association I work for.
Since the work is so monotonous, I usually try and think of other things. So, instead of pondering my thesis, I decided to start working on the lists for a website I am creating with Cerebra. The lists are coming together far better than I hoped, although I am not sure how I am going to cut down the ‘Preeminent Actor’s’ list. Due to my many loves, I also had to come up with other categories for ‘Unsurpassed Supporting’, ‘Not-quite-there-yet-but-promising’, and ‘Aspiring’.
Anyway, this got me thinking about the upcoming Clive Owen flick Children of Man. I read a couple of early screening reviews that simply gushed about the excellence of the flick. Oh and did I mention, the flick also stars Michael Caine, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and Charlie Hunnam, three of which who are on my various lists. No joke. All in all, I’m looking forward to September, I tell you that!!

Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad...

I think I have too much time on my hands at work. I already found the leaked pic of Brangelina’s offspring and all before my morning coffee break. I thought about posting the image, but I fear the wrath of…well I don’t honestly know who I fear, but I am smart enough to know that much, but you get what I mean. I think “fair use” allows thumbnail size – apparently, a couple of websites still posting the image are clinging to that belief – but why do that. I will say this, the kid is cute, but no more or less thany many other newborns I have seen!
Whilst – I just love this word and it doesn’t get used nearly enough…kinda like revenant. Anyway, whilst going through the rest of my daily internet routine, I discovered this droll/lamentable quote over on Michael Ausiello’s blog concerning the newest Jolie-Pitt. I have tried to keep this media blockbuster out of my blog, but I could resist the quote. You see, ChickLit and I just had a conversation the other day concerning how we though that all things considered “Shiloh” was a pretty good name. It looks like we were mistaken…oh so very mistaken!
And so without further gilding the lily and with no more ado, I give to you the funny quote of the day:“Poor baby, how long will it be at school before Shiloh Pitt gets nicknamed Piloh Shitt?” You know you are laughing…

It never seems to amaze my mind...

While others wonder if today will bring the end of the world - it seems a bit off to me since technically the date is 6-6-06, but whatever - I am looking forward to owning my very own copy of Underworld: Evolution. I can't believe it was the next to last film I have seen in the theatre (scary fact I know). As summer approaches, I'm sure that will change. I am quite excited by a couple things coming out in the coming weeks, especially The Prairie Home Companion flick opening this week.
But back to U: E...I am pretty sure they will release another version in a couple months, but I can't help myself. I must have it...it is somehow theraputic. Hey I can't explain it...I think it has something to do with Scott Speedman, but I choose not to over anyalyze!!

Oops!...I did it again!

It looks like I have done it again...figured out a new and even more outlandish way to humiliate myself. I flashed my panties to a church full of people...and not just a couple of seconds…think more like 30 minutes. It turns out that throughout the morning service, people could look my skirt. Let me tell you…it doesn’t get much better than that!
I should first set the scene. A couple of weeks ago, I started playing with the main band at church. A while ago, the last music director left and subsequently quite a few people have taken 'hiatuses' leaving the band on the sparse side. Anyway, despite the fact that I hadn't played in a couple of years, I said I would do it since I had played with many of the other musicians in the past. However, the church has built a new main auditorium since then. I only bring this up because the new stage is about 5 feet high…meaning that you are up on a pretty good pedestal…and just high enough that people are looking up at you. Apparently, this means that they can get quite an interesting show if one wears a skirt on the shorter side – come on…it was church…no one wears that short of skirts. So it seems that Sunday - while playing a pretty nifty Korg Hammond B-3 organ keyboard and an extended Roland keyboard - I exposed more of myself that usually accepted on church grounds.
Due to my numerous guffaws, I have learned it is best to just laugh at oneself. Oh…and laugh with others about the mortifying circumstance of course. Otherwise, it starts to eat at you. Besides, the church band got a bit kick out of it all. They are terming it a new outreach program…”Stripping for the Savior”. You see…that would get people in the door…and then you could just lock them in. It’s an interesting plan, but not one I will participate in. I got to hold on to a little bit of self-respect!
By this point you are probably wondering to yourself how the image relates to the blog entry. Well it doesn't. I just liked the image and it is the first I have seen of the new Eragon film. I have mucho hope, especially with the cast, but I don't want to get too excited...we know what happens then. Anyway, enjoy the photo!

And I heard from the trees a great parade...

I’m considering taking a mini holiday to Santa Rosa. You see, the CWGA – one of the associations I work for – is holding their annual meeting in Santa Rosa in August. In order to entice people to attend the conference with their families, I get to research ‘fun’ local attractions to suit anyone. I had no clue there was so much to see and do in the region. I figured you just went there for the wine tasting. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against ‘respectable’ drunkenness, but wineries have never really excited me…ironically too pompous.
If I get to go to the annual meeting on the company dime, I may have to make a quick side trip to take in a couple of the state parks, museums, the ‘old faithful’ geyser, and of course, the petrified forest. Man I’m starting to sound like a bloody tourist brochure…perhaps I should take a short break!

Your friends all complain that you're going insane...

Ok…are you sitting down? (Yes, I do actually often surf the web while standing!) Prepare yourself for something truly shocking. I’m giving up soda pop. Nope, I’m not putting you on or trying to prepare you for a more dreadful reality (i.e. getting married, having a kid, or completed my thesis). Now before you start laughing…I know it sounds preposterous, but I am serious. I originally thought to post this revelation yesterday when my sobriety began, but decided I should make it through at least one day first. And I have…notice the new counter under my profile!!
I’ll be honest, this ain’t gonna be easy and chances are if you talk to me over the next few days, I won’t be in the best of moods. But before you begin planning an intervention, know that I am not giving up caffeine. Make no mistake, I will still be drinking my 2 cups of coffee a day. I just can’t ignore how poisonous soft drinks are anymore. Besides…in the end, this will save me a while lot of money. Although water may not be free anymore, it is still a whole lot cheaper so perhaps this way I can afford that BlackBerryin November!!

Once again science baffles me. For some reason, no one can figure out how to cure AIDS or solve a good number of the other burning questions of our time, but hey...in a couple of years you may be able to buy your very own invisiblity cloak. According to 2 different studies, invisibility cloaks are theoretically possible and could be produced for the public in the forseeable future.
Apparently, Harry Potter has more influence than originally estimated. I mean, it already dominates the economy and artistic visionbook and film worlds...why not science as well. While I am all for making parts of myself imperceptible and intangible to others, it just seems ridiculous that I could purchase such a cloak before so many other pressing matters get resolved. Ah...what a consumer driven society we live in...unfortunately!

Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should...

I have lost nearly all of my respect for Reba McEntire. The insipid TV sitcom and obvious plastic surgery turned me off quite a bit, but her inappropriate and unfunny comment during the Academy of Country Music awards show a couple of nights ago, crossed a line I refuse to ignore. During the telecast, McEntire made the ‘joke’ that "If the Dixie Chicks can sing with their foot in their mouths, surely I can host this sucker."
At this point, I feel I should explain that I’m not a big Dixie Chicks fan. In fact, I only own 1 of their CDs. I can assure you that will change. I have just become a super-fan – and most of you know what that means! Often times I wonder if I personally put the ‘fan’ in fanatic!
It is sad to see Reba join the likes of Toby Keith (a man I have lost all admiration years ago) in publicly hating a group for stating an opinion – a right that our oh-so-patriotic Constitution allows. I don’t understand the animosity. But perhaps this spite-filled shunning of a band that doesn’t just look pretty (who knew a girl band could play instruments…and well), will turn out to be the best outcome. The country music industry has a long history of spurning their most talented artists: Johnny Cash, Loretta Lynn (I loved Van Lear Rose), Merle Haggard, and Emmylou Harris. Personally, I think they are in far better company now than with Reba and her cohorts – a good portion of which gave that tasteless and badly chosen joke a standing ovation, I might add – ever had to offer.

But I still love you more than anyone else could...

I originally had a massive blog planned, discussing my excitement at the upcoming Gerard Butler film, 300. Unfortunately, I actually had work to do and so, in the end, all you will get, my dear readers, is a glimpse at a photo from the flick. I'm not all that into Greek history, but I have to say, that this is one Spartan/Persian war movie that I won't miss. Although now that I think about it, I don't think I have ever watched a Spartan film...Spartacus yes, but no Greeks. Oh well, more info to come...

Morning comes in Paradise, morning comes in light.

Ok I am in love again…and this time it might last a bit time. Some of you will already know about my theory of music; for those who don’t, here is a quick explanation. I see my music obsessions – I really can’t call it anything else – as relationships and categorize them as such. For example, Dave Matthews Band is my first love. U2 is my musical ‘spouse’. I may have all sorts of ‘affairs’ or ‘flings’ with other ‘boyfriends’ or ‘lovers’, but in the end, I am in a pretty committed relationship with the 4 boys from Dublin. Some affairs last longer than others, but you get what I mean. Thankfully, U2 is forgiving!
I bring this up only because I seem to be currently juggling 2 new lovers:
Snow Patrol – who I discovered a couple of months ago, but have only recently hit the obsessive phase despite the use of one of their songs on Grey’s Anatomy
Sufjan Stevens – who I first heard back in February, but it has taken me a bit of time to track down
As with all of my obsessions, I am thorough (tune in tomorrow for a look at the new Gerard Butler film) and research far more than anyone should since most bands typically have similar stories. These bands, however, have a few new things.
Snow Patrol is made up of guys from Belfast who met and formed a group called Polarbear while attending uni in Scotland. You see…being an anglophile (that includes all of the UK, of course) pays off!!
On the other hand, I doubt I could explain the enigma that is Sufjan Stevens. Although at concerts he often claims to have been found in a milk crate on Canada Day, this is just a good story. However, the ‘truth’ is often as bizarre…he actually does teach the blind to knit. I'm not even starting on the name. Honestly, I don’t think anyone will ever beat that one…

Oh, where oh where can my baby be?

Ok...so was I the only one that started humming "Last Kiss" in my head during the final scenes of The O.C. last night?!?!?Ok...so was I the only one that started humming "Last Kiss" in my head during the final scenes of The O.C. last night?!?!? Come on…it is one of those songs that everyone knows the words to or can at least half-ass hum it. For some reason, we are programmed at birth with a couple of sample songs like new computers. If you still don’t agree I present the Righteous Brothers’ “Unchained Melody” or “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling”. I rest my case. But just think…if they ever try to make The O.C.: The Musical, “Last Kiss can fit in perfectly, although finding something to rhyme with Volchok might prove difficut:

I couldn't stop, so I swerved to the right
I'll never forget the sound that night
The screamin' tires, the bustin' glass
The painful scream that I heard last.

Now that I think about it…a musical might be just the ticket. That was the only good thing about the last 2 years of Buffy…well that and Spike, but again…I digress.
I know I am supposed to be upset that Marissa is gone, but in the end, I am just a bit elated. I’m pretty much done with the show (I know that might shock some people, but hey the show isn’t what is used to be), but that death scene – was it just me or did it go on forever? – just confirmed how lousy Ms. Barton can be. First, she gives public interviews talking about her death BEFORE the show airs. I didn’t really care, but I figure that pissed off quite a few fans. Second, she can’t even die on screen with dignity or even convincingly. As ChickLit pointed out…she isn’t even convincing on Neutrogena ads…
Of course, all of these events will completely screw up Ryan, as if the boy didn’t have enough guilt issues already. Perhaps now he will go and live with Luke and his gay dad in Portland. I see a pretty entertaining Three’s Company’-esque spin-off, don’t you?!?! Perhaps he could instead team up with the people from That 70s Show (sans Topher Grace and Aston Kutcher), which actually had a pretty good season finale last night. Ah…if Fox shows were just one big show, what fun we would have!?!?! At least we had a couple of good SoCal soap years and hey..."Welcome to syndication, bitch!"

And you'll feel dizzy, light, and free...

There is bliss in my village…well perhaps not bliss but at least a mild state of unabashed delight. After months of speculation, it looks like CW did inherit the ‘stud’ farm and most of my shows will make the transition to the new network; even Supernatural, which I can now watch since I am done with The O.C. I hope the presence of Grey’s Anatomy at 9pm Thursday nights will prompt NBC to move the new Aaron Sorkin show to another night leaving me with the hunky brothers and hopefully their dad since he won’t be on GA anymore *sob on Thursdays. But with my luck, Studio 60 will get moved to the Tuesdays at 9pm slot and that simply won’t do. I have to get my Veronica/Logan fix…oh and Weevil and Mac and Keith and even Lamb…well maybe not Lamb, but you get the idea!!!
On a completely unrelated note, although I think that statement works for pretty much anything that comes out of my mouth or gets typed, 6 friends have now sent me links to an Onion article. Apparently Heroic Computer Dies to Save World From Master’s Thesis, caught quite a few people’s attention. I highly recommend reading the article and as just a teaser, here is the opening paragraph…

“WALTHAM, MA—A courageous young notebook computer committed a fatal, self-inflicted execution error late Sunday night, selflessly giving its own life so that professors, academic advisors, classmates, and even future generations of college students would never have to read Jill Samoskevich's 227-page master's thesis, sources close to the Brandeis University English graduate student reported Monday.”

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

No, I haven't fallen off the edge of the world...at least not yet. Although this post will be brief, I just wanted to share a couple of thoughts:
1. If I ever decide to throw another party...figure out a way to stop me.
2. If I ever try to carry an old - meaning unbelievably heavy - dining room chair...figure out a way to stop me.
3. Not only does President Bush frustrate me politically...he has now contrived a way to ruin my tellie schedule. Becuase of his 'lets send the National Guard to militarize the border like never before...yeah that seems like a great idea...other nations love us at the moment and it's not like we could use the military personnel in other parts of the world' speech, I missed the first 20 minutes of the season finale of Prison Break. Now I have to wait for reruns to watch how they actually got out of prison. Honestly...I have no words that reflect my anger! I watched an entire year in order to see that event and I missed it...
4. In happier news, it looks like VM will be back for at least 13 eps next season and 22 if ratings improve. This info came from Rob Thomas - not the guy from Matchbox 20 - which is pretty much means that the news is straight from the horse's mouth. I know I have railed against this last season, but lets face it...I'm a glutton for punishment. Oh Logan...how I love you!!
5. Speaking of pain...I am still annoyed by the season finale of Gray's Anatomy and I am done with the show. It's official...

I watch them channel hop...

Well, with the season finale of Veronica Mars last night, my tellie schedule comes to a close once again. Each year, I think back about the overall quality of my programs and my predictions for next year. With an 8 day wait until the announcement of the CW network it is difficult for me to focus on the future. Who knows what that will bring? I could wish and dream, but we all know how that always turns out!
Although, there was an odd clue in the VM ep last night. At one point one character asks “CW?” The reply of "It's a done deal" answered the inquiry. So what does this mean…that is if it means anything at all? I am just being hopeful. I have had my issues with the second season of the show, but it is still one of the best on tv at the moment. If I am honest, on my watch list, only BSG beats it out at the moment with Prison Break following close behind.
Next year, however, looks grim even if VM gets renewed. The O.C. has run its course and I don’t see me watching another season. The same goes for Grey’s Anatomy…I just can’t stand Meredith anymore and I’m sick of George not standing up to everyone. I don’t even want to discuss the rest. It is all just bad…BAD!!!
One side note, in case you were wondering why the Bono pic of the post concerning current television program…it’s his b-day and you know I couldn’t let that pass without some commemoration.

Like every woman, she gets her own way!

I loathe the residual effects of bleach. Don’t get me wrong, I love its disinfecting power and all that, but the smell…oh the smell. I used bleach to clean one of the 42 cup coffee makers that will be used on Saturday. Keep in mind that was around 7pm last night and my hands still smell like bleach even though it has been more than 12 hours, I have taken both a bubble bath and a shower, and applied hand lotion. On top of the smell, the bleach dries out the hands to the point that my hands feel like they could crack open at any moment. If only scientists would discover the cures for all of the most deadly diseases so they could get onto solving these troubling bleach issues. One can only hope.
Before I sign off, I thought I would wish a “Happy Birthday” to FemeNazi. I thought I would pass on a bit of good advice I got in a fortune cookie recently since FemeNazi is always thinking about taking on the world: Never wear your best pants when you go to fight for freedom! (I can’t offer anything better than that!!)

I think I love you...

So…I often lurk on message boards, but seldom actually leave a comment let alone create a post. Anyway, recently I have decided to listen to Wheel of Time. Now this might seem simple enough, but as with most things in my life, turned out to be far more complicated and expensive.
I’ll explain more, but first a short parenthetical digression. You see…audiobooks are brilliant...simply bloody brilliant. They combine the best of childhood bedtimes – my mom or dad always read to me – with one of my current long-lasting obsessions. Anyway, I have started listening to Wheel of Time on CD. It should take me at least 297 hours (approx. 12.5 days). I figure I have at least a month’s worth of listening material.
So…after looking at the cost of the WOT audiobooks – even used they start at $40 – I decided to see if I could rent or borrow them from somewhere. Logically, I started with the library, but unfortunately, for the most part, Sac County libraries only own the abridged versions that cut down the 29 hours of the unabridged to 6.5 hours. That is if they carry the audiobook at all. Anyway, I decided to post a message on one of my fav WOT sites – wotmania (yeah I know a good portion of you lost a bit of respect for me and are not trying to stifle your laughter…) For the most part, the replies were of little use, but one did catch my fancy. Under the title of “well, I don’t have the audiobooks, BUT” Like the title, the message, was priceless:

"You can rent me for a small sum, and I'll ride shotgun during your commutes and read the books aloud to you.
I charge 300 a week. Very reasonable I say.
I'll even make noise effects during the story to make it more life like."

Although it seems like a tempting offer, it seems a bit too expensive. Thankfully a bunch of different companies have begun to copy Netflix – oh how I love Netflix – and so for a very reasonable monthly cost, I can get all of the audiobooks published. Ah, perhaps my grandmother was right about that whole “where there’s a will, there’s a way” stuff. All I know is that at the moment I am living it up in geekdom and I don’t care!!!

Looking out for #1!

For the most part, I am very much a creature of habit. Take my 2006 O.C.calendar. Bought during one of those 50% off sales after Christmas, I have yet to actually change the January pic. For 4 months now, at the beginning of the month, I simply trim the new image leaving behind a fab pic of Ryan Atwood (a.k.a. Ben McKenzie) alone – meaning without both Marissa and Seth (clearly the better significant other choice). I just don’t see why I would want to spend a month looking at Julie Cooper…or even worse Marissa. Ironically, although I wake up to Ryan’s brooding face every morning, I have not watched the last 3 eps at their regularly scheduled time. Although not as high on my shit list as Veronica Mars, I am seriously considering making this my last season…that is if ChickLit agrees.
So, what was I doing while The O.C. aired last night? The answer…rediscovering the magic of the Tim Burton classic: Ed Wood!!! I forgot what a brilliant film it is. If only more films were shot in B & W…
But before I forget and sign off…I hope everyone has a terrific Cinco de Mayo. Remember…drink a margarita on me and pay tribute to the battle the Mexicans won in a war they lost.

i can't take my eyes off of you...

For those of you wondering – if there actually is anyone wondering – why my blog has not been updated lately, the answer is two fold (hey at least it isn’t a 3 prong attack…those never work!!). First, I have found the utter joy of Netflix. Yes, I realize that this will not come as a shock to most of you, but I kinda get lost in films. And man…I can’t describe the orgasmic bliss found in updating my queue. Who ever thought up this whole thing should be given the Nobel Peace Prize. I’m sure Bono can get nominated again next year since unfortunately the problems of poverty and AIDS in Africa aren’t going to disappear in the foreseeable future.
Anyway…second, I have been compelled – I don’t know any other way to describe it – to read Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series once again. For those of you unfamiliar with the series, let me explain that this takes quite a bit of time. The first book is 800 pages long and is one of the shortest of the 11 book series. I lost count of how many times I have made it through the whole series a long time ago, but to be honest…I think that is for the best. The fact that I own 3 sets of the complete series disturbs me – and I am sure my closest friends - enough. Even though I know the series extremely well, I just feel the need to read it every once and a while. I am already trying to brace myself with the reality that I might never get a final volume, but hey…at least I have an imagination. And despite the success of the LOTR films, I don’t think WOT would translate well to the screen, which gives some consolation and also lets me hold onto a bit of childhood memories without commercialism. WOT is not just a fantasy series…it represents over a decade of devotion. How scary is that ?!?!?!

The marker snapped and I yelled "Quiet on the Set!"

While shopping for fajita filing in Trader Joes last night, I ended up having a fascinating conversation concerning the casting of my autobiographical film. You see, I was on the phone with ChickLit discussing my casting choices for the hypothetical tv movie I mentioned a couple of days ago. Anyway, some guy overheard my part of the dialogue and interjected that if the film featured this trip to Trader Joes – and how surreal would that be - he wanted to be played by either Hugh Grant or Colin Firth. I should interject at this point, that the boy (well man actually) was English and it took everything I had not to start drooling on spot…he had the accent and looked damn fine in jeans! And if that wasn’t enough, he had a Hugh Jackman-esque primal-yet-sophisticated quality - meaning he could kill if need be to protect the innocent or his ‘woman’, but also knows which fork to use at a formal dinner and is familiar with all aspects of theatre. Honestly, I’m not sure how I didn’t just throw myself at him…ah if it was only that simple.
But back to the main story…this incident got me thinking about the other casting decisions. And surprisingly, in the end, I couldn’t make any real decisions. Sure, I have idea, but in the end, I am not sure if my choice would over flatter someone or provoke them to never speak with me again. You see, I chose Melanie Lynskey to portray me because I think there is some resemblance and her quirkiness seems to fit well with mine. However, when it comes to others, I am not so secure in my choice. For example, if I would cast Katee Stackoff as Marathon, Kristin Johnston as FemeNazi, and Leelee Sobieski as Ms. Jane Bennett. Come to think of it…I think Kathy Bates would be great as my mom with Judi Dench as my formidable grandmother, but I am not sure how that would go over and that still leaves a good number of vital roles vacant. Perhaps I should just make it all a one woman show…that would simplify everything…or would it?!?!?!

you've got a friend...

I have seen my future and let me tell you…it ain’t pretty. Yes, while visiting the state capitol for the umpteenth time with Ms. Jane Bennet, who flew down from Bham to spend the weekend with me, I saw my future self: a somewhat distressing woman trying a little too hard to be friendly to all the tourist, but also attempting to police the use of flash photography in an exhibit room for the centennial of the great San Francisco earthquake and fire. That might not sound all that bad, but that all changes when you realize that every item in the room was a replica…absolutely no originals. Anyway, I could just see me as that woman trying to enforce a dumb rule and hating every minute of it. Let us hope, I don’t turn into scary queue mad madam m full time. That could be frightening.
All in all, however, the weekend was abfab. In case you are wondering, the pic was taken at a 3-d film about the SF earthquake and fire. We had some time to kill and so we decided to start taking timer photos. (Hey it is better than a collage of the 9 pics I took of Ms. Jane Bennett picking her first orange from a tree, cleaning, peeling, and eating it.) I can't explain how fun it all was. In our technologically savvy world, it is pretty easy to keep in touch with people, but being able to hug a friend is so much better than talking on the phone! I do which, though, that I could have a day to recover.

Cuz, I want to drive the Zamboni...

So, it appears I am one step closer to achieving my plan to marry an Olympic athlete (preferably not from one of the really stud sports that require only the youth of a generation like snowboarding or bobsledding.). You see, I concocted a plan during the past winter Olympics. I have no real desire to watch the games themselves – yes, I know I am highly un-American and will never reach Stephen Colbert’s classification of ‘Megamerican’- but the games do visit come pretty interesting places I wouldn’t mind visiting. Come on…I could so skip most of the actual athletic events, just doing the tourist thing as much as possible. Up until now I had no clue how to get my foot in the door, but that might all change.
You see, FemeNazi might be going on a blind date with one of the Alaska Aces – a pro hockey team based in Anchorage. Of course, this meant we spent a good hour on the phone last night discussing both the gentleman in question and his very questionable team mates. Anyway, the guy is kind of Neanderthal looking (come on…just look at demonic pose he has in the pic), which doesn’t really come as a surprise but is somewhat amusing if you think about FemeNazi dating a hockey player. (Although he is not completely inarticulate…in one interview he talked about how the “puck comes off your stick”…I don’t need to tell you where my mind went.) Ah, what fascinating conversation they will have…FemeNazi – who knows nothing about hockey - talking about Foucault while HockeyGod discusses his latest goals – actual ones not the existential ones. (Excuse me…I need to go and laugh hysterically for a moment!! Meanwhile, I would like to take a moment and encourage everyone to visit the Alaska Aces Roster page since some of the players take really unfortunate photos. Also, keep in mind that all of these guys are barely 20…man do I feel old.)
But back to my plan…so you see in order to meet my Olympic spouse, first FemeNazi hooks up with the HockeyGod. Then she convinces him to try out for the Olympic team. Barely making the cut, but winning over the coaches with his ‘love of the game’ and the amount of heart he puts into his game, HockeyGod will get the last spot on the squad. (Eventually this will inspire a Lifetime made-for-tv film entitled “Passion on the Ice” or something just as cheesy in which I will be played by Kiwi Melanie Lynskey since as the best friend, I will have a small bit role!!) Anyway, FemeNazi will invite me to go to the Olympics as her guest. At some official Olympic gather, my eyes will lock with some stranger thus proving that trashy novel plots can happen in real life. (Of course, this story will be the plot of a Lifetime made-for-tv-sequel this time starring Melanie Lynskey.)
So…there is the plan in its entirety. I think it will fall into place quite nicely, but then again…this is all contigent on the guy calling FemeNazi, but other than that, I think it is pretty foolproof. Although I could be wrong…I often am!!

Guilty of dreaming of you...

Like something out of Amelie, lately, I have been receiving antagonistic postcards from Mikey. Unfortunately for the sender, the postcards are postmarked “Anchorage, AK”, but no matter. According to the notes, it seems that Mikey didn’t die as believed, but instead simply left me to travel the country in some Kerouac fashion with some hot chick he picked up.
Although I chose to believe he died – I simply can’t fathom that after 3 years together he would simply run off with some hussy – the postcards do bring up an interesting point. What if Mikey, like a cylon, simply decided it was time to go and downloaded into a new model? I’m not sure that would be better, but still it is fun to get the postcards even if it proves that I have watched far too much sci-fi!!

And he'd ride down on a great white horse...

Well, now that the week of mourning is over, I can return to blogging about absolutely trivial and inconsequential topics that for some reason or another I find captivating. (I have been getting come conspicuous postcards from Mikey, but I will explain that later.) Last week, FemeNazi sent me my very own knight. Unfortunately, he didn’t ride up on a trusty steed, but USPS vehicles are white, so there is something. All in all, Sir Sigimor Boltof – the current working name – is one of the coolest things I have ever seen…a magnetic cut-out knight that you can dress in several different outfits.
The magnetic clothes punched out well enough, although I am still at a loss as to where one of the pieces of armor goes. How sad is that? I am being out smarted by a toy with a choking warning. It is at times like this, I do wonder about the American education system and how I ever got through it with such flying colors. Does make one pause…
Anyway, at the moment, Sir Sigimor is hanging out on the only cookie tray that is actually magnetic. I never realized what a bummer it is not to have your own refrigerator. My parents just don’t get the same joy out of him as I do. Ah well…at least I have one man in my life that I can control and won’t leave me. It’s a start!!

That I should rise and you should not...

“Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.”
- Isaac Asimov

Before I begin, I must note that in my attempt to write a serious eulogy for my deceased computer, I might have digressed into overly-dramatic-verging-on-comedic territory. It appears that even when I attempt to write something without overt sarcasm or humor, I still achieve something as funny if not simply bizarre. I thought it wise to take Shakespeare’s advice in Macbeth and convey my grief and loss through words (“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.”) I might have been wrong. No matter what, this is my attempt to overcome the loss of a valued and near constant companion - as ridiculous as that may sound.

Ladies, Gentlemen, Computer, Robots, Electrical Appliances.....
I remember it well: my first glimpse of the desktop named Mikey; plastic wrapped and secured with Styrofoam in a cow-print box. I remember Mikey always got the front seat on road-trips and got to spend the night in whatever hotel room I had. No matter where I lived at the moment, Mikey always occupied a table or counter at some prominent position. For nearly 18 months, Mikey was the only device I owned that played DVDs. I don’t need to explain how important that was.

Working until the very last moment, Mikey always gave his all. Although 3 years is an eternity in such a technologically forward society, Mikey stayed spry. He was far too young to die. Perhaps because he always gave his all, we forget his young age. Never balking at the late hours I spent working or the fact that I constantly procrastinated on whatever assignments I currently had, Mikey toiled unrelentingly. Although in reality he may not have been exactly distinctive to others, Mikey was unique to me and I will not forget all of those long hours of collaboration.

In the end, though, I realize that no matter how much I wish it didn’t happen, Mikey no longer remembers anything. As Thomas Mann, wrote “A man's dying is more the survivors' affair than his own.” So it is with a heavy heart that I begin the training of Apollo and try to pick up the pieces of my broken technological life; I’m sure it is what Mikey, living it up in whatever afterlife computers enjoy, would want me to do. But for just a moment, if you can, please join me in raising one final glass to the memory of such a beloved comrade.

Through the storm we reach the shore...

I had hoped to have another guest memorial entry for the Week of Mourning, but unfortunately, the couple of people I asked to contribute, all have asked to extensions. This pretty much leaves me with little to nothing for today since I planned to publish my own eulogy tomorrow.
So…instead of trying to write something funny or touching, I have decided to simply call for a moment of silence. Of course since this is self-regulated, I will have no way of knowing whether or not anyone is actually bored enough to do this, but still it seems like a nice gesture. I originally tried to think of a song dedication, but U2's "With or Without You" seemed a bit dramatic and I couldn't really think of anything else.
Sure, I have probably gone a bit far with the whole mourning of Mikey, but in many ways, that computer stood as a unyielding reminder of my 3 years of grad school like nothing else…the good, bad, and ugly. With the wiping of the hard drive, I lost not only a plethora of personal files, but also almost every paper I wrote in grad school. I doubt I would ever have looked at them again, but still it is the fact that I can’t access them anymore that is rough. Oh the possibility…at the moment just feel permafracked! I’m sure that Apollo – by this I mean both my new computer and the character on BSG - will soon make me forget that I ever owned a computer before and I will soldier on like nothing ever occurred.

Just yesterday morning, they let me know you were gone...

To continue the ‘Week of Mourning’ for Mikey, ChickLit has contributed the following:

Ode to the 'Puter
I would like to dedicate the following haiku to a beloved friend lost so tragically this past Good Friday (which really turned into a Bad Friday. As in the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Friday). Yes, we lost Mikey-the-puter so suddenly that we may be left wondering why he was taken from us. Understand that it is not our place to question such things. He's in the hands of a higher power now and we must accept his passing graciously (by booting the monitor across the room) and reverently, (by curb-stomping the external hard drive that was supposed to save us from such a catastrophe) knowing that he has gone on to better things and now grazes in greener pastures (er…or whatever 'Puters call heaven) where there are no electrical surges, viruses, or sudden memory loss. Amen.

Mikey the 'Puter
Full to the brim with iTunes
Is now dead and gone

Grief brings much anger
Motherboard overboard
Drop-kick the damn mouse

Farewell to Mikey
So fair and so beloved
Apollo replaced you

I put your picture away...

FemeNazi emailed me this picture as soon as she heard the news. While it may not be the most flattering picture of me, it is actually the last photo of Mikey, my old computer. Although I must confess that in fact, it may also be the only pic of Mikey. Anyway, not only does it foreshadow the coming doom and death of Mikey, it even gives a timeline: “This Summer”. (Look closely at the black text at the bottom of the poster above my head.)Unfortunately, the prophecy predicted the coming ‘death’ a season off. Go figure!?!?!?
I spent most of last night trying to get my new computer, Apollo, to act more like Mikey, but so far, it is proving a slow process. Much like training pets and men, it is pretty much an uphill battle at the moment. I can’t really complain though, since I only spent a couple of days computerless (Getting back on the horse and all that). Unfortunately, I am finally beginning to comprehend the amount of word documents I lost and the fact that I probably won’t be able to recreate everything. Perhaps in the end, this will prove to be a positive event…a chance to move onward into a new cyberland of my own creation. I take comfort in that line from the underappreciated Elizabethtown: All forward motion counts. And iff that one does fit, I can always fall back on another line in that film…just dial HELL and I'll answer!

Goodbye...easier said than done...

Originally, I planned a retrospective look at the classic 1986 film Highlander (yeah I couldn’t believe it is that old either). Although there can only be one, I recently watched the 10th Anniversary edition and discovered a big difference between Highlander and the Highlander I remember. Anyhoo…all that got completely discarded when my computer crashed on Good Friday. Ironically, I was in the process of backing up the whole system when it died. Unfortunately, the hard drive got completely wiped which basically means I lost everything including photos, iTunes, and of course all of my grad school papers including a minimal part of my thesis. Luckily, I had most of my thesis info backed up.
One of my computer profs at Western once made the joke that nobody's ever been killed in a computer crash, but when it happens they always wish they were dead! On Friday, I would have completely agreed. I have recovered a bit, but it will take quite a while before I am back to whatever is considered ‘normal’ these days. This experience, however, has revealed how dependent and connected I get to my computers. It almost feels like I lost a member of my family…and not just any relative, but one I actually like.
The loss of Mikey – I know it is a bit creepy, but by dad named the computer – hit me hard…harder than I ever would have imagined. All in all, I came to the realization that for better or worse, I have begun to see my computer as more of a companion than simply a machine. Therefore, I have decided to devote all of this week to the untimely death of my former computer as well as introducing all of my readers – all 4 of you – to my new computer Apollo. I will publish the eulogy for Mikey on Friday and both ChickLit and FemeNazi might also contribute their thoughts on this poignant and heartrending event.

That's why I fell for the leader of the pack...

I don’t go for the typical bad boy. It might happen now and then, but for the most part, when it comes to my ranking of fav characters in books or the small/big screen I always gravitate towards the likable sidekick with a sense of humor. Although Angel had the looks, Xander had the jokes! Oh and lord knows Alan Tudyk was the only reason I made it through the whole season of Firefly.
For this reason, I find my growing affection for Weevil on Veronica Mars fascinating. Played superbly by Francis Capra – the great-grandson of the guy who directed It’s a Wonderful Life – the deposed leader of the PCH motorcycle gang (yeah I know it is corny, but I kinda like them on the show) is more than just the obligatory muscle of the show…he actually has a somewhat developed personality. On the surface, Weevil is a stereotypical badass; leader of the motorcycle gang, lots of tattoos, loves his grandmother…but there seems to be quite a bit more. He has been absent quite a bit of the season, especially after a coup that overthrew his leadership of the PCH motorcycle gang. However, last week’s ep brought him back in full force, finally dealing with the death of his best mate Felix. What I love is the fact unlike so many other badasses Weevil is willing to express his love – purely platonic - for his fallen comrade, practically yelling at one point “No. I LOVED him!” and showing a softer side that doesn’t make him seem vulnerable at all. He is not afraid to kill, but he is not a harden executioner. Instead, in some respects his actions seem to be more along the lines of justice. Although Francis Capra can play a pretty good heartless convict as well. Just watch the third ep of The OC entitled “The Gamble” if you don’t believe me. You’ll see what I mean.
I also love his friendship with Veronica. There is a level of respect between the two of them. He steps in and protects her at times and not just for quid-pro-quo reasons. I sure hope that if a third season of VM does make it on the new CW network, Weevil won’t get left behind or even worse…changed! There is nothing I hate more than when my favorite characters get new personalities between seasons!

When you put your arms around me...

I finally sat down and watched Mad Hot Ballroom last night. Hey...better late than never. Anyway, I sat absolutely mesmerized for the entire film, which if you know me is quite a phenomenon. Even on films I love, I'm usually doing something else at the same time. But man, elementary school children ballroom dancing is something that can't be missed.
The film not only featured ballroom dancing, but also the philosophical thoughts of pre-teen kids...kids stuck in the precarious not-quite-a-teenager-but-not-a-child-anymore. Topics of discussion ranged from girl/boy dynamics and future spouses to classroom politics. Although I enjoyed the side conversations, I have to say that Wilson, a little boy who didn't really say anything at all since he knew little English, was my favorite. He had the biggest blue/green eyes and boy could he dance. I sure hope he has the opprotunity to stick with it.
All in all, this is a film to be seen by everyone. Sure it has it manipulative uplifting moments, but at the end of the day...sometimes it is nice just to feel good and at least dream that we have a hope for the future. No many films do that anymore...

but i still haven't found what i'm looking for...

I’m not the biggest fan of internet quizzes, although I have done my fair share of them to simply take up time during the long and often boring work day. However, FemeNazi found a pretty nifty one concerning religion. The Belief-O-Matic actually asks interesting questions and allows you to rate the importance of the question itself. How intriguing? But what I found even more interesting was the actual results, a percentage breakdown of 27 religious faiths. Two faiths actually tied for 100%: Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants – not really a shocker – and Orthodox Quaker – what the…huh?!?!?! I didn’t even know that there were Orthodox Quakers. I guess you really do learn something new everyday! I also found it interesting that Catholicism and Seventh Day Adventists had such a high percentage while Sikhism and Hunduism both had over 50% rating. Who knew?
Just for the fun of it, I have included the entire list even though I am not familiar with several of the faiths. If any of you readers actually take the quiz, I’d be interested in the results.

1. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestant – 100%
2. Orthodox Quaker – 100%
3. Seventh Day Adventist – 92%
4. Mainline to Conservative
Christian/Protestant – 88%
5. Eastern Orthodox – 82%
6. Roman Catholic – 82%
7. Liberal Quakers – 75%
8. Unitarian Universalism – 65%
9. Reform Judaism – 58%
10. Sikhism – 58%
11. Orthodox Judaism – 55%
12. Hinduism – 53%
13. Bahá’í Faith – 50%
14. Neo-Pagan – 45%
15. Church of Jesus Christ Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) – 43%
16. Islam – 41%
17. Secular Humanism – 35%
18. Mahayana Buddhism – 35%
19. New Age – 35%
20. Theravada Buddhism – 35%
21. Jehovah’s Witness – 32%
22. Taoism – 30%
23. Scientology – 29%
24. Christian Science – 28%
25. Nontheist – 24%
26. Jainism – 24%
27. New Thought - 21%

Happy Birthday to You...

As I suspected all along, I am not really a party-planning person. This fact is really not a surprise. I am pretty sure if you asked most of my friends, each would start laughing hysterically when asked if I had Martha Stewart party skills. I mean I respect the woman for going to prision when most businessmen go out of their way to try and not own up to their transgressions. But this neither here nor there.
You might be wondering...what is going on (kinda like that Talking Heads' song)?!?!?!? Well, my grandmother turns 80 next month and so my mother and I are planning a surprise birthday party as well as a more intimate family BBQ. However, I seem to be the only one doing anything at the moment. I got all the addresses, I wrote the invitation letters, I stuffed envelopes, I addressed all the envelopes, I created the RSVP postcards, and I even figured out how the cater the thing. Now sure my mom is going to be making most of the desserts, but still...a little help now would be appreciated!! I spend a good portion of time at work stuffing envelopes for organizational newsletters. I really don't want to also stuff at home while watching Prison Break. I can't concentrate completely on Wentworth Miller and if I can't do that...what's the point!

And somewhere in the darkness the gambler, he broke even...

Bad news... ChickLit informed me today that Robert Jordan, author of my beloved - even if the last couple of books sucked - Wheel of Time fantasy series, has unfortunately been diagnosed with a rare blood disease called amyloidosis. According to Jordan,

"Untreated, it would eventually make my heart unable to function any longer and I would have a median life expectancy of one year from diagnosis. Fortunately, I am set up for treatment, which expands my median life expectancy to four years...In any case, I intend to live considerably longer than that...I sat down and figured out how long it would take me to write all of the books I currently have in mind, without adding anything new and without trying rush anything. The figure I came up with was thirty years. Now, I'm fifty-seven, so anyone my age hoping for another thirty years is asking for a fair bit, but I don't care. That is my minimum goal. I am going to finish those books, all of them, and that is that."

Although I am deeply saddened by this news and I hope that Mr. Jordan keep on kicking, I can't help but feel a bit selfish and fear that I will never get a conclusion for the WOT series. I know it seems a bit rude, but I have spent a decade - nearly half my life - devoted to this series and I just can't image never knowing how it ends. Well there is that fear and the whole Tolkien syndrome in which the author's offspring attempts to satisfy readers with his sub-par storytelling. I don't know if Robert Jordan has any children, but I am sure some obscure nephew will take it upon themselves to finish what was started. Oh the horror...the horror. Perhaps he can just outline the ending for us all...just in case. Hey you can't criticize me for at least hoping!!

Like a fly on a wall...

Well, it turns out that ants enjoy constant rain and an overly-saturated ground as much as I enjoy visiting quilt shops with my mother - a task I might add that actually ranks on my "Ordinary Task That I Hate" List. Anyway, I bring this up only because I awoke this morning to find my parents battling an army of ants in the kitchen. Luckily, the invading insect militia made a b-line for the sink - ironically full of water - and stayed away from any of the cupboards or food-stuff in general. Almost makes you feel bad for their horrible death by RAID…almost.
Anyway, the whole debacle reminded me of that Simpson's ep in which Homer travels to space in the new NASA publicity program. Due to his lack of experience at being weightless, he crashes into an ant farm on board, releasing all of its inhabitants into the space shuttle just as Ken Brockman begins a televised interview. (I might add that the ep also features a singing James Taylor, but that is neither here nor there.) The live feed in the shuttle gets cut just as the viewer see a giant ant heading toward the camera leading Brockman to consider that the spacecraft has been conquered “by a master race of giant space ants.” My favorite part, though, is a bit later when Brockman concludes that:

"One thing is for certain, there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to...toil in their underground sugar caves."

Although I doubt that a colony of ants in the kitchen is part of a larger insect army sent to bring about an apocalypse, I do wonder that if the weather doesn’t clear up soon if I will be seeing more and more in the house. Fortunately, killing insects/spiders isn’t on the "Ordinary Task That I Hate" List. There is something at least!

I talk about silly things...

In disturbing news - that will most likely amuse those who know me well - I discovered today that sometime in the 6 weeks or so I have been working in agriculture - and by working I mean answering the phone and sending sheep vaccines by UPS - I learned not only the name of the 4 major swine breeds, but also can somewhat distinguish between different pigs. How the heck did this happen?!?!?! I would hate to think that I am beginning to weaken on my barnyard animal stance; I mean if that one goes...what's next? Perhaps if I had tried to learn this information, I wouldn't be so bothered by the fact that I now know it. (By the way, the breeds - in no particular order are: Duroc, Hampshire, Yorkshire, and Landrace.)
I think I could handle this all better if I hadn't picked up all sorts of sheep and lamb facts as well. I am turning into a regular Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm and how scary is that one...I know I feel like examining all of my life choices, although the job pays well and for the most part I only have one boss at a time. Besides if I don't send the BlueTongue vaccine (strains #10, #11, and # 17 I might add), who will? Could I really live with all of that sheep sickness on my conscience? Well, probably, but why lose a paycheck in the process?!?!?!

Like coming off the pills that you take to stay happy...

FINALLY!!! I have made it back to the movie theatre...paid an arm and a leg and I'm pretty sure that I will have give up my first-born child, but, at least this time it was worth it. I LOVED Inside Man. I know what you are thinking, it has Clive Owen in it...of course she found the film enjoyable besides she also liked Doom. But honestly, this film kicked ass!!! I don't want to ruin anything, so I will stop talking about it...at least for now. Who knows about tomorrow!?!?!?
This weekend I also found a new way to experience home videos...watching a synchronized DVD while on the phone with a friend. ChickLit finally broke down and bought P & P. Of course I had been telling her to buy it since it came out. Although it sounds a bit bizarre...it is actually loads of fun and quite old school!!!